


i saw your ad in the test divider

by WAKEMEUPwakemeupinsideCANTWAKEUPwakemeup



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Lancey Lance, M/M, chat fic sorta??, keithy boi, prolly allura/oc background, prolly hunk/shay background, test divider causes mayhem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-21 12:11:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13740603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WAKEMEUPwakemeupinsideCANTWAKEUPwakemeup/pseuds/WAKEMEUPwakemeupinsideCANTWAKEUPwakemeup
Summary: lance sees a phone number in a test divider during his physics class and decides to text them because you know what why not??keith doesn't know what's going on and gets a random messagepidge may die but doesnt give a shithunk is a beautiful and amazing boy as alwaysallura tries to wingman her broshiro is dad brotherAdam is a weird and formal guy but still a brothis summary fucking sucks alright im sorry





	1. the ad

**Author's Note:**

> yo so i havent written very much but i love writing so please for the love of fuck tell me if this is good bad horrifying funny etc. i take constructive criticism hella because i need it and i ignore the shit out of straight up hate anyways hope this is at least fairly enjoyable 
> 
> text key:  
>  _keithy boi_  
>  lancey lance  
>  **pidgetspinner**  
>  the most beautiful boy in the universe hunk  
>  ** _queen of your ass allura_**  
>  _adam :o ___  
>  **shiro the hiro**  
>  ** _the meme matt_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof back for the revisions i wanted to do which high key wasnt that different i just switched one of the matt interactions for an adam one and gave matt a random boyfriend i just made up but otherwise tis the same shit thanks for reading bros

_ Physics 1st period should be illegal. _ Lance thought as the class got themselves prepped with a test, taking out calculators and formula sheets, praying or accepting their fate of an F. 

 

Lance stood to get his test divider.  _ Why in the fuck are these necessary? Well if anything cheating is easier sooooo.  _

He stretched up with a long drawn out yawn as he lowered himself back into his seat. Setting up his test divider, Lance slipped his phone into his jacket sleeve just in case, physics was one of Lance's strong suits but still, he'd rather keep his passing grade. 

 

Lance glanced up finally looking at the stupid things people write on his test divider. “ur gonna fail”, “you’ll do great <3”, “fysics can succ my dik”. Just the usual nonsense, that Lance has no doubt contributed to in his past. 

 

He continued to scan, though fairly mindlessly as he saw his teacher grab the stack of tests in preparation to pass them out, when a particular scribble caught his eye. 

A phone number. 

There had been many phone numbers in the past, but you know what? This felt like a bull shitting day, so Lance was fully prepared to bull shit, and maybe that involved texting some random student.  _ Fuck it.  _

Lance quickly saved the number and threw his phone in his backpack. He was suddenly feeling pretty great, bull shit did wonders to life. 

  
  


_ Whale that test was shit but I passed so fuck you Massey.  _ Lance thought, he was not going to give his teacher, Mrs. Massey, the satisfaction of failing him. He appreciated the fact that they self corrected right after taking it because then he could actually shove that 87% in her face. An extremely high score for physics, indeed.

Now time for his next order of business. Lance pulled out his phone to see his mystery number that he decided to name ‘bull shit boi’. Boi in a gender neutral way, obviously. 

 

_ Welp, time to do this.  _ Lance took comfort in the fact that he knew it wasn’t a serial killer or an old pervy man, just another student. And just another person he could ignore if they ended up being a dick. 

He typed out a message, and not to pat himself on the back, but he thought it was pretty sick.

 

[9:12AM]  yoooo i saw your ad in the test divider im thinking mayhaps you are in need of a friend??

 

_ Man, what impeccable texting skills. Lancey Lance, you are a genius.  _ His phone rang within seconds, perhaps he was right, this person did need a friend. 

 

[9:12AM]  _ Um, if I’m being honest I have no clue who you are or what you are talking about.  _

 

[9:12AM]  i found your number in one of the physics test dividers and you know what its not fair to have physics 1st period when im not even awake yet so i decided to bother you about it

 

[9:13AM]  _ My number? I didn’t put it in any test divider? … Wait give me a minute.  _

 

_ Well they don’t seem like a dick yet.  _ Lance thought hopefully as he waited, presumably for this person to figure out who the culprit was that did put their number in the test divider. 

  
  


[9:13AM]  _ Did you put my number in a physics class test divider?  _

 

[9:14AM]  **… mayhaps**

 

[9:14:AM]  _ Okay 1st of all why??? 2nd of all what in the fuck does 'mayhaps’ even fucking mean?  _

 

[9:16AM]  **you need more friends than me and our brothers and also mayhaps you should look it up**

 

[9:16AM]  _ If I get murdered, mayhaps I will fucking haunt you you useless hobbit.  _

 

[9:17AM]  **look at that you learned a new word have fun with your new friend ;)**

 

[9:17AM]  _ I am going to kill you Pidge.  _

 

[9:20AM]  _ Don’t ignore my threats!  _

  
  


[9:20AM]  _ Sorry, just deciding if I needed to kill one of my friends. Which is a really ominous thing to say to a stranger.  _

 

[9:21AM]  no problem i think about killing my friends all the time but then i remember id probably be dead without them

 

[9:22AM]  soo whats your favorite color? 

 

[9:22AM]  _ My favorite color? Red. _

 

[9:23AM]  _ Um what’s yours?? Wait but would you really be dead? _

 

[9:23AM]  BLUE!!! and yeah probably dude im sort of a mess 

 

[9:24AM]  _ Eh I guess I kinda am too, except more like a 'I should probably be in jail’ type of mess. _

 

[9:25AM]  man i wish that was me (actually though it might be im probably like 100 different types of mess) 

 

[9:26AM]  obviously that includes texting a stranger during my english class 

 

[9:27AM]  _ Damn, I guess that’s me too. Shit. Except I’m in math.  _

 

[9:27AM]  OWO so FuN what are you SHIZ TECAHER APPROCHAING GOTTA BLA

 

[9:28AM]  _ Whoops, have fun in detention.  _

  
  


[10:04AM] Hey man how was the physics test

 

[10:15AM] You got your phone taken away got it talk to you later 

 

[10:16AM] but who were you texting if not me?? is there something you must tell me??????

  
  


[10:30AM]  **physics test?**

 

[10:31AM] Sorry my friend got his phone taken away so i couldn’t ask him 

 

[10:31AM]  **damn**

 

[10:31AM] Not like there is any way you gonna fail tho 

 

[10:32AM]  **doesnt mean im not a lazy bitcc**

 

[10:32AM] Eh fair 

  
  


[10:36AM]  _ I mean I guess they’re not horrifyingly terrible. _

 

[10:37AM]  **aaw you made a new friend**

 

[10:37AM]  **youre welcome by the way ya little bitch**

 

[10:38AM]  _ I might still kill you though.  _

 

[10:38AM]  **not if your new text friend kills you 1st**

 

[10:39AM]  _ I swear to fuck Pidge.  _

 

[10:40AM]  **bro the fucklord is never with you**

 

[10:41AM]  _ What the hell?  _

  
  


[10:45AM]  _ If I die, you murder Pidge, got it?  _

 

[10:46AM]  **Gonna need a bit more context then that to murder a pretty much little sister**

 

[10:47AM]  _ Even my dying wish you can’t just do no questions asked? Brother why? _

 

[10:48AM]  **Aren’t you in school?**

 

[10:50AM]  _ I’m dying Shiro! Avenge me! Ple fuck gotta g _

 

[10:52AM]  **Aha that’s what you get have fun in detention.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chappy probs gonna be our two boys in detention  
> i reaally hope peope are enjoying this unless no one reads it which is chill too im still gonna write it because i like it ya little shits  
> (old note still relevant)


	2. the bois in detention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance doles out a challenge as the in detention entertainment  
> how can keith back down even from something seemingly stupid  
> yet again another dumb ass summary sorry bros im fucking dumb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chap is basically the same i think i just fixed some grammar shit 
> 
> if you dont know what in the fuck im talking about because you are reading this for the first time then ignore me and i hope you enjoy

_ I blame Pidge with everything that goes wrong in my life.  _ Keith thought bitterly, as he made his way to detention. He thought it was fair to at least blame this particular detention on her, he wouldn’t have had to text anyone during class if she didn’t put his number in a damn test divider. 

 

_ Next time I’m gonna find a way to drag her ass down with me.  _ He was lost in his thoughts of revenge that he didn’t notice the rather tall boy in front of him that he proceeded to run into. 

 

“Sorry” he began to say, when he realized the person he was apologizing to. 

 

“Well hey there mullet man, where do you think you’re going?” 

 

_ Well of fucking course, if Pidge is not dying today, it’s because I finally strangled Lance McClain.  _

 

“Detention, and you’re kind of in my way.” Keith deadpanned, he had no interest in useless bull shit, which just so happened to be the descriptor for Lance. 

 

“Oh? Mayhaps I should talk to administration because I think you are supposed to be at least suspended for carrying a knife.” Lance said, mocking smile plastered on his face. 

 

_ Again with the 'mayhaps’, what the fuck is wrong with people that they can’t just use real damn words. _

 

“You know damn well I don’t have a knife”,  _ right now,  _ “because if I did, you would be stabbed with it already.” Keith said, finally entering the room and sitting down at an empty desk. 

 

“Mmm kinky.” Lance responded, same shit eating grin still on that annoying face. 

Keith decided it wasn’t worth it anymore to reply and settled for laying his head down on the desk and ignoring the world for the time he had to be there. 

 

There weren’t many other people in detention, which he found lame since he had seen at least twenty other people doing detention worthy things. There were most definitely more than that, too. 

 

Relief from the universe became distant because not two fucking seconds later he felt a poke in his side. A piece of paper appeared on his desk. 

 

“So mullet since we are in detention some entertainment is needed tic tac toe bitch” was written on the note with a tic tac toe grid, an O already marked in the middle square. 

 

_ Seriously? Fuck it, the universe hates me too much to leave me alone so let's do this.  _ Keith decided, and pulled out a pen, making a small X in the top right corner of the grid. If nothing else, hopefully it’ll make detention go faster. And, even if he didn’t want to admit it, Lance knew how to rile Keith and any challenge issued is one that Keith will take. 

 

He threw the paper back to Lance’s desk and awaited his move. Soon it was thrown back and to Keith’s surprise, Lance had written an additional note. 

 

“what no response? rood I went through all the trouble to write a lovely note and get no reply. Some people(you)” 

 

_ I have to play his stupid game and respond?? Fine, whatever.  _ Keith glanced up at the teacher in the room. Mr. Stoever was sitting there feet on the desk playing his guitar.  _ This guy does drugs and doesn’t care what we do anyways. I could ask to go to the bathroom and never come back. So why am I still here? Ow!  _

Another poke brought Keith from his thoughts. Sitting there tapping his wrist, indicating Keith to hurry up, was Lance.  _ Right, I’m beating this kid at tic tac toe.  _ So be it, not that Keith had much else to do. He wrote out a response. 

 

“Isn’t enough I didn’t reject your child game? I have to talk to you too? Greedy.” He marked his X again and threw it back. 

 

_ This is what my life has come to, passing damn notes in detention with Lance McClain of all people, I still blame Pidge. She will suffer.  _

 

Again taken out of his thoughts but this time by words. 

 

“Yo bro you good, looks like you wanna kill your desk.” Whispered Lance. 

 

“Well I might murder someone, we’ll see.” He whispered back. “I suppose we aren’t worrying about the note then?” 

 

“Tch of course we are? It’s gonna be like when you’re talking to someone on snapchat while texting that same person!” He whisper-yelled, almost at full talking volume, because at this point who cared? 

 

“Why would you ever do that?” Keith asked, as Lance threw back the paper. Looks like that had the answer:

 

“because why not?!?!?!” 

 

_ Alright, okay no.  _ Keith decided to keep with the verbal response. 

 

“I am not writing the notes anymore man, I can’t keep up with this shit. I don’t even have a snapchat so.” 

 

“You don’t WHAT?” Lance responded, far too dramatically for Keith. 

 

“I don’t have one, I mean I had one for a while but I deleted it, it was useless.” Keith said. 

 

“But it’s fuuuunn!” Lance said, now entirely abandoning the whisper and proceeding in full volume. Not that anyone else cared. Some of the edgy kids joined Stoever in picking music to play off the computer. Well at least Keith was down to hear some Joy Division right now. 

 

“No it’s not, fun is a matter of opinion, and to me it sucks so. Are you gonna mark the tic tac toe because I am fairly set on winning.” 

 

“Oh yeah edgelord? I’ll show you!” Lance said confidently, sending the paper back over to Keith’s desk. 

 

Keith looked at the paper.  _ Checkmate bitch. _ Keith successfully blocked Lance in every direction. Placing his final X to secure his victory, he put a line through the set. 

 

“Seems you really showed me.” Keith said, a small smirk forming on his face. 

 

“What?! Fine new game what should we-” but Lance was cut off by the teacher. 

 

“You know you kids can go, it’s not like detention is gonna do anything to make you stop being late or texting in class so see you later. And Joe, cover up that smell before going home, you smell like a damn campfire.” Mr. Stoever said, sounding high as ever. 

 

“Thanks Stoevy.” responded Joe. Everyone packed up their stuff and left leaving Lance and Keith.

 

“Well I guess that’s it, McClain, I’ll just take my victory and go.” 

 

“Hey no fair! I want a rematch. Next detention, I’m winning!” Lance declared. 

 

“Next detention?” Keith asked, was Lance really planning to be back here just for this? 

 

“Yes mullet, you know full well we are both probably gonna be in detention again, and when that happens, I’m kicking your ass in hangman.” Lance challenged.  _ Damn now I can’t back down.  _

 

Keith turned towards the door, looking one last time over his shoulder, 

 

“See you then.” With that he walked out prepping words for the rematch game.  _ He’ll never guess this.  _ Challenge accepted.


	3. friend count:3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hunk is betrayed two (2) times but hes the best so its okay allura makes an appearance but not a big enough one for my queen and i still suck at summaries so yeah there you go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still no new shit im pretty sure? whatever 
> 
> text key  
>  _keithy boi_  
>  lancey lance  
> starboy hunk  
>  ** _queen of all allura_**  
> 

[12:47PM]  HUNK MY BEAUTIFUL STAR BOY I WOULD NEVER BETRAY YOU 

 

[12:47PM] I mean you kinda did 

 

[12:48PM]  NO HUNK ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND AND I LOVE YOU MORE THAN EVERYTHING THIS UNIVERSE HOLDS 

 

[12:49PM] <3 aaw

 

[12:49PM] But I kinda meant you got your phone taken instead of telling me what was on the physics test 

 

[12:50PM]  HUNK YIU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT TO MY HART 

 

[12:51PM] Alright precious bean but how'd you get your phone taken?? 

 

[12:52PM]  yeesah okay so whale i was taking the test in physics and i saw a number in my test divider and i texted it 

 

[12:53PM] So you're talking to a stranger? 

 

[12:53PM]  DONT JUDGE ME 

 

[12:55PM] I won't just don't get murdered 

 

[12:55PM]  ill try my best and also pledge to not text for the rest of the day because i almost got caught again and two detentions on the same day is just cruel 

 

[12:56PM] Good talk to you later

 

[12:57PM]  good bye BEAUTIFUL

  
  


[1:30PM]  im breaking my pledge whats good

 

[1:31PM]  **_what pledge??_ **

 

[1:32PM]  i made a pledge to hunk that i wouldnt text during class but i got bored queen help 

 

[1:33PM]  **_i’m sorry babe but you are backing out on hunk the purest child i’ve ever seen so i cannot help you_ **

 

[1:34PM]  BUT QUEEN 

 

[1:39PM]  ugh fine 

  
  


[1:40PM]  im broke my pledge whats good 

 

[1:40PM]  _ What pledge?  _

 

[1:41PM]  I told my friend i would stop texting so i dont get caught but im sooooo bored 

 

[1:41PM]  _ I’m pretty sure that’s lying.  _

 

[1:42PM]  soo is that a no to entertaining me?? 

 

[1:43PM]  _ I mean I guess not but I’m not very entertaining.  _

 

[1:44PM]  i believe in you 

 

[1:45PM]  _ Do you like coconut?  _

 

[1:46PM]  … gotta be honest i wasnt expecting a question like that but yes i do do you?

 

[1:47PM]  _ No I don’t, I’m really not sure why I asked that.  _

 

[1:48PM]  You Do Not Like Coconut?

 

[1:49PM]  _ No? It’s gross to me.  _

 

[1:50PM]  I Am Going To Have To Rethink This Friendship.

 

[1:51PM]  _ Why are you typing like that? Also are we friends I thought I was just called when you were bored? Also isn’t it better to know people who don’t like the same things as you, then you get more of it when it is presented?? Or something like that.  _

 

[1:52PM]  I Am Distressed That Someone Doesnt Like Coconut But That Thought Has Been Noted. And I Am Pretty Sure The People You Call Upon When You Are Bored Are Those You Call Friends. Dont You Do That To Your Friends? 

 

[1:53PM]  _ I guess so, I mostly want to kill my friend but I’ll still watch all the Star Wars movies with her at one time.  _

 

[1:54PM]  did you say “my friend”? as in singular? not to sound rude but do you only have one friend?? 

 

[1:55PM] Okay _ I'm pretty sure that was rude and no! Her brother is cool? And … my brother?? Okay maybe but it’s not my fault everyone sucks. How many friends do you have? _

 

[1:56PM]  Me? hundreds of friends!! 

 

[1:57PM]  okay i have like 2 real friends but still i talk to other people every once in a while 

 

[1:58PM]  _ Eh, I guess I’m not really the type of person to have casual friends. It’s either people like me or not and that’s pretty much it.  _

 

[1:59PM]  well i mean you dont seem like a dick face you can henceforth consider me a friend 

 

[2:01PM]  _ What an honor.  _

 

[2:02PM]  tis the biggest honor! 

 

[2:03PM]  _ I’m sure. Well now I have no clue what’s going on in my calc class so I’m gonna try and take notes actually. Talk to you later? I guess? _

 

[2:04PM]  Alright bye friend! 

 

[2:05PM]  _ Bye.  _

  
  


[2:30PM]  i … kinda broke my pledge

 

[2:31PM] I figured but maybe don’t pledge next time but thanks for being honest 

 

[2:31PM]  your not gonna kill me??

 

[2:32PM] Nah in this AU i'm your bodyguard in your the prince I can't kill you 

 

[2:33PM]  AAH YOUR THE BEST BEAITOFUL STAR BOY also i got my friend count to 3 

 

[2:34PM] Stranger boi? 

 

[2:35PM]  yeeah 

 

[2:36PM] Aww cute


	4. avatar the last airbender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> poor grandpa keith hasnt seen the pure greatness of avatar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow its adam :0 he exists ... barely
> 
> text key  
> hunk  
>  _keith_  
>  lance   
> _adam_  
>  **shiro**

[4:15AM] _Pidge_

 

[4:16AM]  _ I have science early to do today so good morning. _

  
  


[4:21AM]  _ Keith. _

 

[4:22AM]  _ My god, I thought old people liked sleep. _

 

[4:23AM]  _ Excuse me you child but I am a working person who has to earn money to pay for every time you break your arm so be happy I am awake right now.  _

 

[4:24AM]  _ -_- _

 

[4:24AM  _ Anyways I just wanted to say good morning for you to read when you woke up but you already woke up. _

 

[4:25AM]  _  I am awake because my brother texted me at 4:21 in the morning but whatever good morning. _

 

[4:26AM]  _ I guess I can assume that brother was me. Sorry. I hope you can get back to sleep before school you don’t rest enough.  _

 

[4:27AM]  _ Doubt it but thanks for the sentiment. _

 

[4:28AM]  _ Of course at least try and rest I will try not to text so early in the morning next time.  _

 

[4:28AM]  _ Thanks brother.  _

  
  


[4:37AM]  _ Shiro good morning please still be asleep. _

 

[4:38AM]  **… im asleep?**

 

[4:39AM]  _ Yes you always were such a good liar. Go back to sleep you don’t have science to do until later.  _

 

[4:39AM]  **yes dearest also love how you call our job just "doing science"**

  
  


[4:40AM]  _ I am awake now and bored. _

 

[4:41AM]  aaw and im your first choice im touched 

 

[4:42AM]  _ Well my other friend would have been first choice if I knew she wouldn’t just tell me to fuck off. Why are you awake?  _

 

[4:43AM]  well now im hurt and i could ask you the same?? anyways im solving lifes mysteries 

 

[4:44AM]  which means i had insomnia and started watching avatar the last airbender why you up 

 

[4:44AM] _ My brother, well technically my brother’s husband but same thing, texted me “Good morning” and it wasn’t meant to wake me up but it did. _

 

[4:45AM]  Well welcome to the can’t sleep club but one question,,, why must your brother by marriage up at this time of day?? 

 

[4:45AM]  _ He is a scientist they are… working on science? Okay I’m not totally sure what he does but apparently it constitutes waking up and going to work at 4:30 ish in the morning.  _

 

[4:46AM]  i shall leave the future of science to him then 

 

[4:45AM]  _ Anyways, I’ve never seen Avatar is it good? _

 

[4:46AM]  YOU WHAT 

 

[4:47AM]  YOU ARE REALLY PUSHING THE BOUNDRIES ON THIS FRIENDSHIP ARENT YOU 1ST YOU DONT LIKE COCONUT THEN YOU LITERALLY SAY THE MOST SINFUL SENTENCE IN THE WHOLE WORLD HOW COULD YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED AVATAR 

 

[4:48AM]  _ I guess I didn’t think it was that big a deal.  _

 

[4:49AM]  BRO IT IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT SHOWS NICKELODEON COULD HAVE EVER MADE YOU NEED TO WATCH WITH ME RIGHT NOW I AM LITERALLY GOINT BACK TO THE BEGINNING FOR YOU 

 

[4:50AM]  _ How? You can’t tell if I’m watching it or not.  _

 

[4:51AM]  OH YES I CAN https://lets.rabb.it/Ziy4hGFrWK

 

[4:52AM]  YOU ARE GOING TO USE THIS AND WATCH AND ENJOY AND YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT

 

[4:53AM]  _ That made no sense. _

 

[4:54AM]  AND NO TALKING 

 

[4:55AM]  _ Alright alright.  _

 

[5:21AM]  _ Okay, I’ll admit this is kind of cool. But what was even the point of attacking?  _

 

[5:22AM]  YOU HAVE TO KEEP WATCHING TO KNOW IM NOT A SPOILER 

 

[5:23AM]  _ Alright but are you gonna start typing weird every time I upset you?  _

 

[5:24AM]  YES 

 

[5:25AM]  _ Fine, also I have a strong inclination that I am going to upset you a lot, I’m not exactly a hip knowledgeable person. _

 

[5:25AM]  Did you just… Say Hip?? !!

 

[5:26AM]  _ … Is that not right?  _

 

[5:26AM]  MAYBE DECADES AGO 

 

[5:27AM]  _ Well this is what I am talking about.  _

 

[5:28AM]  My god was it your granddaughter that put your number in the test divider and youre just saying your friend 

 

[5:29AM]  _ No! Whatever I am going back to sleep.  _

 

[5:30AM]  BYE GRANDPA

  
  


[5:35AM]  _ Do I talk like an old person?  _

 

[5:36AM]  **go back to sleep grandpa**

 

[5:37AM]  _ AARGH!! _

  
  


[6:48AM]  GOOD MORNING BEAUTIFUL BOY

 

[6:49AM] Hngyrhv noooooo let me sleeeeeeeeepppp

 

[6:50AM]  sorry babe its morning time 

 

[6:51AM] Just answer this how long have you been awake??

 

[6:52AM]  ……………..

 

[6:53AM]  since 4

 

[6:54AM] Child you need sleep anyways what were you doing 

 

[6:55AM]  watching avatar …. with stranger boi

 

[6:57AM] Woa woa I am your best platonic friend 

 

[6:58AM] As soon as this starts shifting into best friend territory we are through 

 

[6:59AM]  hunk okay i have betrayed you a weee bit but i SWEAR my entire heart <3 that you are and forever my bestest friend 

 

[7:01AM] Aaaaw okay lets get ready for school then ::))))

 

[7:02AM] and please dont get your phone taken today

 

[7:03AM]  we shal see


	5. keith kogane=bull shit boi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> holy shit crazy stuff  
> this is in real life chapter where lance keith and allura share a class and shay is featured because she is great anyways the class has to do a group project allura is paired with keith and lance with shay and lance learns something VERY interesting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slorp   
> i dont know why i did that im just bored anyways  
> pretty fucking sure nothing change this chappy cept maybs some grammar
> 
> text key  
>  _keeeth_  
>  laaanc

Lance was having a surprisingly good time talking to this new person. People have a tendency to take advantage of Lance since he’s so nice, but over the phone there is nothing of Lance that can be stolen. Just Avatar and random questions.  _ Perfect _ . 

 

There was one person he secretly wished he could have this with. Someone that hated Lance. 

Keith Kogane. 

Sadly, Lance blew his chance before he even got it. To be fair, he was  _ trying _ to compliment Keith’s hair, buuut it might have come out more like, “Nice mullet Keith!” It wasn’t Lance’s fault that his nerves made him sound sarcastic!  _ It really is a nice mullet.  _ Lance thinks as he enters his government class to see Keith already there. 

 

Luckily Allura was already in the class so he didn’t have to sit by himself awkwardly. This class was the worst and just made him hate everyone that is allowed to even govern anything. Well there was one perk to being there. In this class you could sit wherever you wished and Keith always sat in the same spot, so Lance took up a perfectly strategic position to keep an eye on, meaning stare at, Keith without calling attention to himself. 

 

He had just taken up this activity when he realized Allura had been speaking. 

 

“Lance! I’ve been talking for five minutes are you listening?” 

 

“Huh? Sorry queen! I was just uuh..” Lance said, ever so eloquently. 

 

“If you are gonna stare at Keith at least listen to me at the same time.” Allura said. 

 

“Hey! Why don’t you yell a little louder I’m sure he didn’t hear you. Anyways, you should know I am not much of a multi-tasker.” Lance said hiding his face in his folded arms on the desk. Allura rolled her eyes but patted his head gently.

 

At this point class had already begun but the teacher was not even present, a common occurrence for Mr. Aldworth. Everyone was talking for the most part. All except Little Gloomy Boy, the name Lance had given Keith, he wished he could make him less gloomy looking, but again, Keith hated him. 

 

“Then listen to me drama queen. As I was saying”, Allura continued, “I just met this girl named Kyndra, and she is soooo beautiful.” 

 

“Oh really? Where did you see her?” Lance asked. 

 

“She just moved here I guess and now she sits next to me in calculus and she is so smart and pretty and funny and damn I’m gay.” Allura finished now covering her face in her hands. 

 

“I relate so hard” Lance said, turning his attention to a certain boy. 

 

“Ugh just go make out with him already.” Allura said, crossing her arms. 

 

“I would if I could!” Lance admitted, drawing the attention of a few students around. 

 

“Now you are the one yelling about him lover boy.” Allura smirked.

 

“Uughh I thought we were talking about you.” 

 

“You changed the topic Lancey!” 

 

The teacher finally made his appearance, addressing his students in his classic way, “Good day dear hearts how’s been it?” Lance loved this teacher, too bad he was stuck teaching the worst subject. Thankfully this introduction saved Lance from anymore embarrassing conversation, and he took refuge in the silence marking the beginning of a lesson. 

As if she could read his mind, however, Allura leaned over and whispered to Lance, “We are not done talking about this crush you pining little shit.” to which Lance just groaned in response. 

 

The class went normally, boring info, evil people in office, America sucks, etc.  

Towards the end of class, however, the teacher announced a project. 

 

“You are gonna have to look up a cabinet department head and tell us what the heck they do, what they believe in, etc etc.” Mr. Aldworth said. “You are gonna work in pairs that I have already chosen, I know I am horrible and ruin your life, sorry.” He continued to read out the pairs of students.

 

_ Well that can’t be good.  _ Lance thought. Mr. Aldworth was the best but no way he would let him and Allura do a project together. Maybe this was it. Maybe he and Keith will be assigned together and master plan to make Keith Kogane fall in love with him will finally fall into effect. Maybe he should plan out what that is. 

 

“Keith and Allura.” Mr. Aldworth announced.

 

_ God hates me.  _ Of course. This would be the outcome because why help out Lance?  _ The worst scenario in history?  _

 

“Aaaw sorry I had to take your boyfriend away.” Allura whispered. 

 

“No you are not, you enjoy watching me suffer. What if you use your fancy charm to make him like you!!! My god it’s over!” Lance said. 

 

“Okay hold on, couple things. I do like watching you suffer but not this time, also I’m a lesbian so I wouldn’t even try that, and I’m pretty sure he is gay. Real question though, is this a real crush or are you just lusting after a hot boy?” Allura asked seriously. 

 

“Why can’t it be both, also you think he’s gay and you haven’t told me!!?” Lance asked in return.

 

Allura smiled in reply, “I’m not positive so I couldn't say I am probably right so fuck it, anyways step number one, I’ll talk you up and also get his number so that you can talk to him.” she replied.

 

“Wait won’t that seem creepy!?” Lance asked. 

 

“Well I’ll get it and you decide.” Allura responded as she walked towards Keith to begin the project. 

 

“Wait queen don’t leave!” Lance pleaded, he wasn’t emotionally ready to start a stupid project in a stupid government class. It was too late, however, as his partner, Shay was walking towards him. Luckily she was a really nice girl that Hunk liked to hang out with. If Hunk thinks she’s cool, she has to be. 

  
  


“Lance are you okay?” Shay asked. They had been researching for ten minutes, half of which Lance used to cautiously look over at Keith and Allura. 

 

“Huh? Yeah I’m fine. Sorry.” Lance said, still semi-distracted.

 

“Well it’s just, you’ve been staring at Allura and Keith for a while, do you like Allura?” 

 

Lance replied with a laugh. “No, no that would be so weird. If I was a girl I hella would, but no. We just have a bromance.” 

 

“Then it’s Keith?” She continued. Lance erupted in red, announcing the answer. He used one of his only defences in his arsenal.

 

“What about you don’t you like Hunk?” he asked as innocently as possible. 

 

“W-well ah um..” she stuttered continuously. Lance almost felt bad if she hadn’t just done the same to him. Both were reduced to red blushing messes.

 

“Aaw that’s cute, at least your guy appreciates your existence.” Lance said. 

 

“Ah c’mon Keith is a little gay boy and your a cute boy, you already won man.” Shay said. 

 

“Wait so he is gay?! Wait that’s not important, well it is but he hates me so that doesn’t matter.” Lance replied, feeling defeated already. 

 

“Keith Kogane hates Lance McClain? I’m pretty sure that’s not true.” Shay responded. 

 

“How would you know?” Lance asked. 

 

“Well I guess I wouldn’t but still Keith seems like the kinda person who might push you away at first but you just have to show him you are super awesome, and Hunk hangs out with you which means you are.” Shay said with an adorably encouraging smile.

 

“I mean yelling “nice mullet” sarcastically isn’t really super awesome.” Lance argued. 

 

“Well did you mean that?” Shay asked.

 

“No, I mean I did but not sarcastically, it  _ is _ a nice mullet, it is kinda stupid but it suits him well.” Lance said quickly glancing back at Keith. 

 

“Then tell him, it is never too late to be super awesome, Lance.” 

 

“Urgh why are you allowed to be so pretty and nice and smart, that’s not fair!!” Lance said. 

 

“Coming from you? Bitch I’ll take that compliment, because damn look at you!” Shay said, looking him up and down. 

 

They both laughed, though not because of the falsity of the words, because for real they are both gorgeous, but because of their equivalent situations. 

 

They continued with the project until the end of class, promising to continue work at home, or at least sometime before the due date. 

 

Lance waited for Allura for them to both walk out together. Allura approached him and simply held up her phone for Lance to see. Keith’s number. Lance stared at it for a while thinking.  _ Is it really okay to take his number without directly asking him? This feels like cheating, but … wait is that?  _

 

There was something oddly familiar about that number. 

 

Without saying anything Lance dashed out of the room to find the boy with a mullet and red jacket. Only faintly hearing Allura’s protest as she was left behind. 

 

Lance quickly located him and pulled out his phone opening up the chat he had with someone he named Bull Shit Boi. He typed out a message. 

  
  


[11:55AM]  heyyy man what kinda music do you like

  
  


He watched as Keith took his phone out and typed a response to someone.  _ Please be me. _ Lance hoped. He knew he probably looked creepy but whatever this is important. 

  
  


[11:55AM]  _ Mostly alternative or rock, but a little 80s stuff when I feel like it. What about you? _

  
  


_ Okay that was Not a coincidence I swear. I have Keith Kogane’s number. _

  
  


[11:56AM]  mainly pop including 80s pop music!

 

[11:57AM]  _ Eh I don’t like pop, but I don’t judge if you don’t.  _

 

[11:57AM]  wouldnt dare! 

 

[11:58AM]  _ I would find that a little hard to believe since you have before. I guess I was right, too. _

 

[11:59AM]  right about what? but for real who hasnt seen avatar!!

 

[12:00PM]  _ That we’ll mainly disagree.  _

 

[12:00PM]  yeah i guess you were right then

 

[12:01PM]  does that bother you?

 

[12:01PM]  _ No, what’s the point of having friends exactly like you, that’s boring. I mean my one other friend is always telling me I’m dumb. It’s fine.  _

 

[12:02PM]  that sounds sad but i feel the same! this friendship just might work out :)

 

[12:03PM]  _ Hopefully. _

  
  


_ Hopefully indeed.  _ Lance thought. He had Keith Kogane’s number this whole time. Now then to commence operation: Make Keith think Lance is super awesome. 


	6. crisis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically some wild shit happens and lance has like 12 crises keith has a couple too when pidge comes across some new info and its just kinda a mess a lil bit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sdfghjkmbc im tired
> 
> text key  
> lunch  
>  _kite_  
>  hang  
>  ** _a llama_**  
>  **smudge**

[2:45PM]  HUNK HELP HELP HUNK HELP PLEASE HELP HUNK HUNK

 

[2:46PM] Whoa Lance cool your jets what did you do

 

[2:47PM]  YOU KNOW RHAT PERSON DUDE HUMAN THAT I AM TEXTING BUT DONT KNKW WHO IT IS 

 

[2:47PM] Oh wait so this isn’t about Allura 

 

[2:48AM]  wait no SHIT IS SHE MAD 

 

[2:48AM] Yeah dude she said you ran out on her after gov that’s foul man you can’t upset the queen 

 

[2:49PM]  AAAH NO WAIT I MADE AN IMPORTANT DISCOVERY I CAN EXPLAIN ITS WHAT I NEED HELP WITH 

 

[2:50PM] Talk to us in the group then 

 

[2:51PM]  OKAY

  
  


[2:52PM]  QUEEN IM SORRY BUT I CAN EXPLAIN

 

[2:53PM]  **_you better have a good reason lance_ **

 

[2:54PM]  OKAY SO YOU KNOW HOW YOU GOT KEITHS NUMBER 

 

[2:54PM] You have Keith’s number Allura???!!!!!

 

[2:55PM]  **_yeah i was trying to help out mcclain_ **

 

[2:56PM]  ANYWAYS WELL I TEXTED A RANDOM NUMBER FROM A TEST DIVIDER BECAUSE IT WAS PHYSICS AND I WAS BORED AND WELL THAT NUMBER YOU SHOWED ME LOOKED ODDLY FAMILIAR BECAUSE IT WAS THAT NUMBER I HAD KEITHS NUMBER THIS WHOLE TIME AND AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

 

[2:57PM]  AANDD I RAN OUT BECAUSE I HAD SEE KEITH TO MAKE SURE SO I TEXTED THAT NUMBER AND HE LOOKED AT HIS PHONE AND REPLIED 

 

[2:58PM]  **_YOU HAVE KEITH KOGANES NUMBER ANONYMOUSLY_ **

 

[2:58PM] YOU WHAT??? HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN 

 

[2:59PM]  I KNOW AND NOW I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO BUT I NEED TO MAKE HIM NOT HATE ME ANYMORE BUT HOW DO I DO THAT HEEEEELLLLLLPPPP

 

[3:00PM]  **_BABE OKAY IM FREAKING OUT A LITTLE TOO BUT CALM DOWN SO WE CAN PLAN A PROPER OPERATION_ **

 

[3:01PM] HOW DO WE CALM DOWN IF YOU’RE SCREAMING 

 

[3:02PM]  **_I DONT KNOW JUST DO IT ANYWAYS 1ST OFF WE GOTTA FIGURE OUT IF THIS BOY LIKES BOYS_ **

 

[3:03PM]  HE IS SHAY TOLD ME 

 

[3:03PM] SHAY IS IN YOUR GUYS CLASS AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME 

 

[3:03PM]  **_WE WILL TALK ABOUT THAT LATER_ **

 

[3:04PM] OKAY FINE QUEEN WHAT’S 2ND 

 

[3:05PM]  **_WE GOTTA GET KEITH TO FALL IN LOVE WITH LANCE_ **

 

[3:05PM]  WELL THATS EASY I HADNT THOUGHT OF THAT

 

[3:06PM] OKAY EVERYONE NO SASS ALLOWED ALRIGHT but yeah a little bit we might need some more details 

 

[3:07PM]  **_WELL FIRST FOR FUCKING ALL YOU GOTTA STOP BEING A SHITTY SHIT TO HIM IN REALITY OKAY TALK TO HIM LIKE YOU LIKE HIM DAMN_ **

 

[3:08PM]  POINT TAKEN I JUST GET NERVOUS ALRIGHT 

 

[3:09PM] Aaaawww so cute!!! 

 

[3:09PM]  **_THEN TEXT HIM NOW THIS IS CRITICAL TIME_ **

 

[3:10PM]  WHAT. DO. YOU. MEAN. THAT. SOUNDS. LIKE. A. TERRIBLE. IDEA. I. AM. NOT. READY.

 

[3:11PM]  **_EXACTLY YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO THINGS WHEN YOU LEAST WANT TO AND DONT WORRY ITS BE YOURSELF TIME NOT TIME TO IMPRESS BECAUSE IF HES NOT IMPRESSED WITH YOURSELF THEN FUCK OFF BECAUSE YOU ARE AWESOME AS SHIT_ **

 

[3:12PM]  DAMN IT OKAY OKAY 

 

[3:12PM] Man I love this

 

[3:13PM]  thats because you just get to watch!! 

 

[3:14PM] TRUE NOW GO TALK TO THE KEEF 

 

[3:15PM]  AAAAAAAAAAAAH 

  
  


_ Be yourself time? Shit okay fuck it, I, Lance McClain, am awesome. Let’s do this.  _

  
  


[3:15PM]  hey bro question and this is important 

 

[3:16PM]  _ Alright? But is it really? The 1st question you asked me was “What’s your favorite color?”  _

 

[3:17PM]  HEY THAT IS AN IMPORTANT QUESTION it is the start of building a friendship and since we seem to have this friendship thing down we need to get to know each other better Soooooo what is your favorite animal??

 

[3:18PM]  _ I never thought that these would be considered the important questions. Anyways I like hippos.  _

 

[3:18PM]  HIPPOS OH MY GOD THATS SO CUTE 

 

[3:19PM]  _ Did… did you just call me cute? _

 

[3:19PM]  is that… weird? 

 

[3:20PM]  _ No I mean it’s just, no one’s called me cute before? I didn’t expect it.  _

 

[3:20PM]  _ Sorry that was irrelevant anyways what’s your favorite animal? _

 

[3:21PM]  whoa bro nothing in this odd chat is irrelevant everything is totally valid especially you and i like SHARKS

 

[3:21PM]  _ Wow that’s cool. _

 

[3:22PM]  the sharks or the validity

 

[3:22PM]  _ Both, nobody has simultaneously told me that I am valid and that they like sharks. Thanks now I associate sharks with being valid. _

 

[3:23PM]  NICE 

 

[3:23PM]  _ Can I ask you a question?  _

 

[3:23PM]  sure!

 

[3:24PM]  _ Why do you seem so interested in, I don’t know, me?  _

 

[3:24PM]  because people are great! well no people suck man i hate people but some people very few people are great like you! you are great!!

  
  


[3:25PM]  _ Am I? A great person?  _

 

[3:25PM]  **may i ask what spurred on this incredibly vague and emo question?**

 

[3:26PM]  _ The person that you allowed to text me, said I was great, is that true because not a lot of people seem to think the same thing.  _

 

[3:26PM]  **alright listen here kogane how many people do i hate?**

 

[3:27PM]  _ Jeez I don’t even know like hundreds?  _

 

[3:27PM]  **now who do i consider my best friend**

 

[3:28PM]  _ Me? I think?  _

 

[3:28PM]  **exactly. look i know i kinda give you a hard time and sarcasm seems to be my only mode of communication but you are an awesome dude**

 

[3:29PM]  **if this whoever the hell thinks so too well maybe theyre not that bad maybe you should meet them and actually have a new friend**

 

[3:30PM]  _ Thanks Pidge. Now you can stop pretending that I’m your best friend and talk to Shiro _ .

 

[3:30PM]  **hey you are my best friend! shiro is just the best human no one can compete with him and anyways i have a small inclination that you left someone hanging to talk to me soooo get out of here and stop being a poo**

 

[3:31PM]  _ Ever so creative with the insults I see.  _

 

[3:31PM]  **its just you the real shit is for the actual people i hate**

 

[3:31PM]  _ Right.  _

  
  


[3:32PM]  hey um sorry if i said something weird i just think you are cooler than other people if i made you uncomfortable you can ignore me its fine 

 

[3:32PM]  _ Ah shit I’m sorry, it didn’t mean to leave all of a sudden. I didn’t think anyone thought that about me and I was just making sure?? I don’t know it doesn’t matter but thanks.  _

 

[3:33PM]  :) its no problem im glad i didnt say anything weird 

  
  


[3:33PM]  **_So what are you guys talking about_ **

 

[3:34PM]  i asked him his favorite animal but we are still talking so ill tell you later 

 

[3:34PM] I EXPECT DETAILS SIR 

 

[3:34PM]  Of course my comrade 

  
  


[3:34PM]  _ Hey do you think it’s weird that we don’t really know much about each other besides like simple stuff?  _

 

[3:45PM]  hmm i guess i mean this isnt the most normal way to make friends i guess would you wanna know more about me?

 

[3:46PM]  _ Well I guess it would be kinda nice to know your name, I mean we go to the same school right? I’m sure I’ve seen you.  _

 

[3:47PM]  ah yeah right i guess it would be pretty easy to meet in person ahaha 

  
  


[3:47PM]  CRISIS I THINK HE WANTS TO MEET ME OR AT LEAST KNOW MY NAME AND HE HATES LANCE MCCLAIN BUT I DONT THINK HE HATES ANONYMOUS TEXTER WHAT DO I DO

 

[3:48PM] You do know those are the same people right? That is all I have to say

 

[3:49PM]  **_Hunk is right it seems he already thinks you are at least coolish but just keeping being nice to him because you need real life time still to not be Lance is a dick McClain to him but the cool Lance_ **

 

[3:50PM]  WAIT HE RESPONDED BUT I HEAR YOU QUEEN 

  
  


[3:51PM]  _ I mean I guess it’s also nice just talking, I don’t really mind what we do.  _

 

[3:52PM]  hmmmmmm tell me a weird story about you then

 

[3:52PM]  _ Uh um, oh one time I was sleeping and my cat came in and started pawing at my face and I kinda freaked out and grabbed my knife and well sadly almost stabbed my cat and had a heart attack. Great times.  _

 

[3:53PM]  You have a cat and You are JUST NOW TELLING ME WHAT IS THEIR NAME 

 

[3:53PM]  _ Okay don’t judge me my brother named her, it’s Lord Voldemeow. I usually just call her Tom.  _

 

[3:54PM]  WHO IS YOUR BROTHER THAT IS LEGENDARY WHY DO YOU KNOW SUCH AWESOME PEOPLE

 

[3:54PM]  _ Guess I got pretty lucky since I only know like 6 people including you.  _

 

[3:55PM]  thats awesome! i guess i got pretty lucky too my two other friends are saints 

 

[3:55PM]  _ Shit I kinda gotta go my brother is calling me, I’ll talk to you later I guess?  _

 

[3:56PM]  yeah! no problem man talk to you later but dont think you are getting out of talking about your knife i just decided that your cat was a priority 

  
  


“Hey Keith!” Shiro called, “Pidge is here!” 

 

“Oh, what for?” Keith asked. 

 

“What? I can’t just hang out with my friend? I gotta have a good reason to see my  _ best friend?”  _ Pidge called back. He squinted his eyes at this. 

 

“Alright, Matt is leaving so I was bored and since I know Adam and Shiro are going on a date tonight I figured you’d be bored, too.” Pidge said walking straight into Keith’s room and flopping on the bed. 

 

“Well not that I’m very entertaining but what do you wanna do?” Keith said in reply. 

 

“Well I was thinking Mario Kart, because it’s been a while since I last anihilated you at rainbow road.” Pidge said walking out of the room to the living room. 

 

“Hey it’s hard!” Keith argued, though Pidge didn’t hear as she was greeting Adam.

 

“Hey dad!” She called to him. 

  
  


Keith decided to pick his conversation back up again. 

 

[4:13PM]  _ Hey it’s just my friend here, but I think if we wanna be fair you have to tell me a weird story, then we can talk about my knife. _

 

[4:14PM]  you sure? i dont wanna take up your time with your friend 

 

_ This person is too nice. _ Keith thought. He heard Pidge talking to Adam, he had time. 

 

“Hey Pidge, it’s been awhile!” said Adam. 

 

“Nah I was here yesterday, you can’t get rid of me.” Pidge said. 

 

“We wouldn’t dare try.” Shiro said ruffling Pidge’s hair. “You’re Keith’s only portal to the outside world.” 

 

“Thanks dad.” Keith said sarcastically as he came out of his room. 

 

“It’s true you goddamn rock.” Adam said, completely less eloquent than he was over text.  _ Wasn’t that supposed to be the other way around?  _ Keith thought.  

 

Keith was back on his phone when Pidge walked in. She had grabbed her designated remote and sat down on the floor where she had more space to move her whole body which, yes, was necessary. She was already focused on the game so he replied.

  
  


[4:16PM]  _ I’ll let you know if she wants my undivided attention, but I’m sure it’ll be fine.  _

 

[4:17PM]  alright well lets see oh okay so i worked on a farm one summer to make money and these people were there visiting for whatever reason and well it is just my natural desire to freak people out so when they came by i was milking the cows and i said “hey look here!” and grabbed the pail and drank it. I drank unfermented milk. and i honestly dont even regret it because the horrified look on their faces was hilarious 

 

[4:18PM]  _ YOU WHAT!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! _

 

[4:19PM]  Hey I got you to use all caps!!! and anyways yeah i did that and it was terrible yet worth it

 

[4:19PM]  _ Are you sure it was worth it?!  _

 

[4:20PM]  oh totally im a legend at that farm now 

 

[4:20PM]  _ That’s not… my god I am in so much denial. _

 

[4:20PM]  YO ITS 420 

 

[4:21PM]  and hey denial is the 1st stage

 

[4:22PM]  _ I think I am already at the anger stage because WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! _

  
  


Keith was in the middle of questioning this person’s entire existence when a Wii remote came flying at his arm. 

 

“Ow shit what the hell?” Keith exclaimed at the moderate pain. 

 

“Yo, are you gonna pay attention, if you don’t remember we were attempting to play Mario Kart.” Pidge said.  _ Right.  _ Keith thought. 

 

“Right sorry, I got a little distracted.” Keith replied. 

 

“Talking to your boyfriend?” Pidge asked. 

 

“What no! I don’t have a boyfriend!” Keith said. He barely even knew this person let alone whether they were a girl a boy or non-binary. 

 

The upcoming message was caught by Pidge, some person just called 'Anonymous’. 

 

“Is that your new friend, your welcome by the way.” Pidge said. 

 

“Yeah why?” Keith said, attempting to be nonchalant. 

 

“So you still don’t know who it is?” Pidge asked. 

 

“No, we’ve just been… talking.” Keith said. 

 

“C’mon Keith, you’re not gonna make a new friend if you just know them as ‘Anonymous’.” She said with finger quotes. She grabbed his phone and unlocked it to see the conversation.

  
  


[4:24PM]  hey man we still need to talk about this knife

  
  


“Wow you told them about your knife must be serious.” Pidge said mockingly. 

 

“Shut up,” Keith said, “and give me back my phone.”

 

“Just one second.” Pidge said and typed out a message. 

 

“Wait what are you doing?!” Keith asked as he tried to take his phone back. 

  
  


[4:25PM]  _ so bro what you name?? _

 

[4:25PM]  uh whos this? 

 

[4:26PM]  _ yeah guess i shoulda uses proper grammar if i wanted you to think i was keith anyways im pidge his friend  _

 

[4:26PM]  hmm pidge? pidge holt? you are friends with hunk right! hes my best friend! 

  
  


“Hey this dude knows me.” Pidge announced. 

 

“What?” Keith asked back in his spot on the couch, having given up on getting his phone.

 

“Yeah, ya know it's pretty easy to make friends even over text. 'Hi, I’m Pidge, what’s your name? Oh Keith, how nice, how has your day been? Great! Mine too!’” Pidge simulated. 

 

“Alright fine I got it.” Keith said. 

  
  


[4:27PM]  _ yep thats me as keiths self appointed protector  _

  
  


_ Oh I just wrote Keith’s name.  _ Pidge thought.  _ Oh well, they probably don’t even know him.  _

 

[4:27PM]  wait so this is keiths phone!! 

 

[4:28PM]  WAIT NO I MEAN UHH SHIT

 

[4:28PM]  _ BRO YOU KNOW KEITH  _

 

[4:29PM]  YEAH WAIT PLEASE DELETE THESE THOUGH HE CANT KNOW IM ON A MISSION 

 

[4:30PM]  _ that sounds shady you arent planning on humiliating or hurting keith right because i just said i am his self appointed protector and i WILL murder you _

 

[4:31PM]  NO ITS NOT LIKE THAT I SWEAR I JUST PLEASE DONT LET HIM SEE THESE IM LANCE MCCLAIN AND I LIKE KEITH BUT HE HATES ME AND IM JUST TRYING TO GET HIM TO LIKE ME SHIT I AM AN IDIOT 

  
  


_ Back the fuck up.  _ Pidge thought.  _ Lance McClain! Likes Keith! I thought Lance hated Keith. I was planning on murdering him for being a dick but he likes him! No way that’s not it.  _

 

“Who’s distracted now!” Keith accused. 

 

“Give me a minute this is important!” Pidge said. 

 

“Important? What the hell are you talking about?” Keith asked, and moved to try and see the phone. 

 

“Wait!” Pidge said as she quickly deleted the most recent messages. “I’m just uh, making sure this person is actually a nice guy and not some dick.” She looked back at the phone, it was interrogation time, Mario Kart could wait. 

  
  


[4:34PM]  _ alright i deleted the most recent messages but answer me this dude if you like keith then how come the 1st thing you said to him was a sarcastic insult to his hair _

 

[4:34PM]  thats always gonna haunt me huh please believe me!!! i was actually trying to compliment him but i got so nervous that it actually came out as a really sarcastic insult and now whenever i try and talk to him its just nerves turned into bull shit!!! i cant stop and its horrible! 

 

[4:35PM]  _ alright alright ill believe that one but dont you not really know anything about him?  _

 

[4:35PM]  i mean i guess i didnt when i first saw him and that was more of just a “damn this boy hot” type of deal but seeing him in class and now texting him hes so great and awesome and cute and jeez please dont judge me!!

 

[4:36PM]  _ aaw how cute i wont judge (though i did say that first part slightly sarcastic) ill help you if you promise that what you are saying right now is 100% true _

 

[4:37PM]  i swear to the heavens that i fully endorse you murdering me if i am not being truthful

 

[4:37PM]  _ alright  _

  
  


Pidge quickly erased the last few messages and tossed the phone back at Keith. As if nothing had just happened, she grabbed her remote to pick a level to play. 

 

“What that’s it, you didn’t even talk to them?” Keith said looking at his phone.

 

“Our conversation was confidential, meaning that I pretty much said 'if you hurt Keith I’ll murder you’.” Pidge replied.

 

“And you had to delete that?” Keith asked, skeptical.

 

“Yeah, anyways let’s play.” Pidge said. Keith picked up his remote but still looked at Pidge with a confused gaze. 

 

Pidge thought up a plot in her mind.  _ Be subtle oooor just ask?? I’m just gonna ask. _

 

“So what do you think about Lance McClain?” Pidge asked outright. 

 

“Lance McClain? Why, you know he’s a dingle right?” Keith replied questioningly. 

 

“Yeah but, I kinda heard he liked you.” Pidge said, continuing with the not subtle at all approach. 

 

“Wait, what?!!! Did I hear you correctly??!!” Keith pretty much screamed. 

 

“I’m assuming. This is what I heard from a friend who is friends with him.” Pidge said. 

 

“Well they are wrong, he has always just insulted me.” Keith said, “And don’t even dare tell me that five year old shit saying that 'oh when they’re mean that means they like you!’ that is how abusers get away with shit.” 

 

“Okay that’s true and I wasn’t gonna say that but I don’t know some people’s emotions are dumb. I mean when my dog died, I started laughing for like two days before I started sobbing. I mean you remember it was terrible.” 

 

“Yes okay, that was really bad but why are trying to defend Lance’s emotions?” Keith asked. 

 

“Eh bro I was just saying. What do you think about the person I, as you said, ‘allowed to talk to you’ what would you think if they liked you.” Pidge asked, absolutely not subtle still. And she certainly did not miss that raging blush that basically erupted on his face. 

 

“What kinda- I mean uh, what?!” Keith asked, swerving off course. Luckily Pidge strategically picked Yoshi Falls, the easiest road, she figured this conversation was going to be... interesting. 

 

“I’m not asking if you like whoever it is, I’m just asking if you would be grossed out if they liked you.” Pidge explained. Man why is helping out Lance so exhausting. 

 

“Okay seriously why are you asking all of these questions, you’re kinda scaring the shit out of me. What were you talking about for all what five minutes with whoever the hell?!” Keith asked. It’s getting more exhausting with Keith avoiding the questions.  _ Whatever. _

 

“Just trying to see if you have a heart in that black hole.” Pidge said. 

 

“Coming from you?” Keith asked. 

 

“Hey I may be aro ace but I still believe in  _ looove _ . I mean they seem cool right, I guess not being a guy might be a deal breaker right? The rumor come out: Does Keith Kogane is gay?” Pidge mock asked.

 

“Is gay Keith Kogane does.” Keith replies in an extremely awkward, supposed affirmative. 

 

“I guess you don’t have to answer buuut just saying, sometimes you don’t really know what someone is feeling.” Pidge said.

 

“I guess I wouldn’t dislike them, but I don’t know, I would have to know more about them still.” Keith answered.

 

“Well great.” Pidge said.

 

This left Keith extremely confused and feeling strangely that Pidge knew something really important that Keith didn’t. That wouldn’t be all too surprising though being that Pidge just happens to know everything. 

  
“And now I feel as though I’m seriously gonna kick your ass at rainbow road since you’ve fallen off the waterfall three times on  _ Yoshi Falls _ of all roads.” Pidge said. She could tell Keith was thinking hard, which was fairly dangerous. Might as well not make his head explode.  _ Damn Lance McClain likes Keith Kogane, what a wild fucking concept. _


	7. klance team is formed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pidge gets invited to the ship team of klanceness and they discuss some shit  
> that was the dumbest summary im really sorry for being a fucktard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want pizza s o bad
> 
> text key  
>  ** _allura_**  
>  **pidge**  
>  lance  
> hunk  
>  _keith_

[5:12PM]  **yo buddy i gotta ask a question**

 

[5:13PM] Sure what’s up? 

 

[5:14PM]  **this may or may not sound weird but youre friends with lance right**

 

[5:14PM] Yeah why? 

 

[5:15PM]  **well does he like keith? kogane? the emo kid that wears that red jacket all the time**

 

[5:15PM] Yeah I know Keith and well um yeeeah Lance kinda more like loves Keith

 

[5:16PM]  **FOR REAL I THOUGHT THIS WAS A JOKE AND I WAS GONNA BE REAL MAD BUT LIKE FOR REAL**

 

[5:16PM] Yeah but wait how did you find out?!?!

 

[5:17PM]  **well im only keiths best (and only) friend i wanted to know who this person was texting my bro and well he kinda spilled about some stuff**

 

[5:18PM]  **i trusted him and deleted the messages so keith doesnt know but i wanted to make sure that he really wasnt trying to punk keith**

 

[5:18PM] Nah Lance isn’t like that he may seem a bit like a troublemaker or whatever but he’s the best person he’s almost too nice and people take advantage of him for that but he does not punk people like this 

 

[5:19PM]  **wow now i feel bad for wanting to punch him in the face**

 

[5:19PM] Eh he’s a great dude but sometimes he doesn’t know when to not be a dingle and he doesn’t always know how to properly express his emotions so I mean you’ll wanna punch him in the face once and then protect his fragile little heart with hugs

 

[5:20PM]  **well since you are the most unnecessarily honest person i know i believe you alright well research done but tell me is this uh lets set them up because they probs wont do it themselves situation??**

 

[5:21PM] Eh I think it’s a 'we push them all the way to each other but let them think they did it because they won’t agree otherwise’ situation 

 

[5:21PM]  **got it so does that mean im on the team now or**

 

[5:22PM] Oh yeah I am cordially inviting you to the team but I think you might wanna meet Lance first to see what you’ll be dealing with 

 

[5:23PM]  **alright lets do this**

  
  


[5:24PM] Hey anybody home? 

 

[5:25PM]  always anything for you my knight 

 

[5:25PM]  **_whats up hunk_ **

 

[5:26PM] Well I guess Keith’s friend found out about the whole big giant crush Lance has on Keith and wants in on the mission can I add her to this chat? 

 

[5:27PM]  ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT PIDGE

 

[5:27PM] Yeah! I assumed you knew because you guys talked

 

[5:28PM]  **_isnt she like kinda i dont know a little ball of anger and sarcasm_ **

 

[5:28PM] She can seem that way but she’s actually really nice she’s only mean when she is protecting her friends and I fully respect that

 

[5:29PM]  yeah she said she would murder me if i was phising keith which is chill because i would also murder someone who is tryna do that to my boi

 

[5:30PM]  **_alright yeah respect and also shes your friend hunk so i guess she cant be that bad send her in_ **

 

[5:30PM] Hunk added Pidge 

 

[5:31PM]  **soo is this where we plot the gay/destruction of the hets**

 

[5:32PM]  **_MY CHILD WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE_ **

 

[5:32PM]  **sorry ive kinda had my hands full with a disaster gay but i guess thats why im here now**

 

[5:33PM]  HELL YEAH also im a disaster bi so its probs good u here 

 

[5:33PM] Soo plot? 

 

[5:34PM]  **_yeah lance where we at with the whole flirting situation_ **

 

[5:34PM]  whaaaale from the textoids i have learned that he likes hippos WHICH IS SO CUTE 

 

[5:35PM]  i forced him to watch avatar the last airbender which he looooves now i am honestly still personally offended that he didnt know about it already

 

[5:36PM]  and he doesnt like coconut which is sin of the highest degree but he made a pretty compelling argument for himself oh and i know he has a cat named LORD VOLDEMEOW THATS GOLD 

 

[5:37PM]  **YOU KNOW ABOUT TOM RIDDLE this escalated far quicker than i could have even thought dude**

 

[5:38PM]  **hes fucking gay for you already you just gotta throw out the real life lance and youre damn set**

 

[5:38PM]  **wait i just realized who is that last person here if i may know**

 

[5:39PM]  **_right im allura!_ **

 

[5:40PM]  princess of the world AND WAIT WHAT ABOUT HIM BEING GAY FOR ME

 

[5:41PM] Sassy Lesbian Goddess™

 

[5:41PM]  **_THANKS HUNK!!!_ **

 

[5:41PM]  **ohhhkay i know you hi**

 

[5:42PM]  **_hi!_ **

 

[5:42PM]  **alright well what we do about gay and bi boys being gay together**

 

[5:43PM]  for real HELP ME 

 

[5:44PM] Hey well you know you aren’t a bad person right? 

 

[5:44PM]  uh i think? 

 

[5:45PM]  **ive heard some fairly convincing good things and i mean your hunks friend so you must be pretty great**

 

[5:46PM] ??? Why you people keep saying that? 

 

[5:46PM]  **because you are literally the nicest person ever and you can sniff out a shit person within seconds**

 

[5:47PM]  YOU ARE LITERALLY THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE YOU SHINE BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN BRIGHTER THAN OUR WHOLE UNIVERSE IF ANYONE SAYS OTHERWISE THEN THEY ARE DEAD 

 

[5:48PM]  **yeah that ^**

 

[5:48PM]  **_true i be drinking my respect hunk (and lance and now pidge because you have proven yourself worthy of the *we need a ship name for lance and keith* team) everyday_ **

 

[5:49PM] Aaaw you guys are so cute :*) 

 

[5:50PM]  **somebody drinks my respect juice? *wipes tear* thats cool**

 

[5:51PM]  **_i gotchu babe :)_ **

 

[5:52PM]  i think the ship name should be klance because im the most important in this ship ;) 

 

[5:52PM] What about leith? *said sarcasticly* 

 

[5:53PM]  **i kinda gotta admit that klance sounds kinda nice but what about like klaith so its a little more even?**

 

[5:53PM]  Wait but that means keith gets 4 letters and i only get two??!!!!

 

[5:54PM]  **_adjkshsbnkorhwl ugh its too hard with one syllable names what the fuck about koglain_ **

 

[5:55PM]  **if im being honest these are getting worse and worse im voting on klance**

 

[5:56PM]  YES! KLANCE IS ULTIMATE SHIP 

 

[5:56PM] Alright klance 

 

[5:57PM]  **_so klance endgame lance you gotta figure out how to make him believe you are actually not a bad guy in real life_ **

 

[5:57PM]  **honestly if you compliment his jacket tell him you believe in aliens and pray to lord aizawa shouta by giving sacrifice to the easermic ship then he’ll marry you**

 

[5:58PM] So is that the game plan? 

 

[5:58PM]  YEESSSSS I AM DOING THIS 

 

[5:59PM]  MAYBE IF I DONT GET NERVOUS AGAIN 

 

[5:59PM]  OH SHIT I CANT DO THIS 

 

[6:00PM]  **dont worry ill be there to assist i guess**

 

[6:01PM]  well im gonna go talk to him 

 

[6:02PM]  **_babe arent you like stressed out about him right now??_ **

 

[6:02PM]  talking to him calms me down 

 

[6:03PM] ?? I’m pretty sure that’s not how that works 

 

[6:03PM]  whatEVER i dont make the rules ! 

 

[6:04PM]  **bye mcclain i swear if you people become friends and not bfs im kicking you out**

 

[6:04PM]  **i am koganes best friend**

 

[6:05PM]  wouldnt dream of being keith koganes best friend my dear! alright bye gay variants

 

[6:05PM]  **gay whats that a satanic religion (also is everyone here like lgbt i mean dont tell me if you dont want to im not tryna out anybody but like i am and i dont really know a lot of people who are besides keith but even though i seem like a bitch and kinda am i support)**

 

[6:06PM]  oh my god pidge sweet child Protector of the Disasters you are not a bitch (unless you wanna be :)) you are awesome and ive barely even got to speak with you and that fact makes me sad because you are hella amazing and it makes me so happy how easily you fit right in with us and i mean i think you know in a Bi child of life

 

[6:06PM] Yeah Pidge you are honestly so great! ^^ we support you too!!! I’m pan so if you see someone talking shit about pans well you can beat them up for me

 

[6:07PM]  **noted i will anyways im aro-ace and like a trans girl so like solidarity or?**

 

[6:07PM]  **_lesbian aro-aco pan bi trans solidarity approved my girl_ **

 

[6:08PM]  **wow i cant believe i found the most damn rainbow group ever im so happy we gotta get my son (keith) in here lance help and by the way werent you gonna go talk to him right now anyways**

 

[6:08PM]  right bye future strippers of america!!

 

[6:09PM]  **what..**

 

[6:10PM] He calls us weird things to keep our attention you’ll have to get used to that he’s actually real good at coming up with stuff like that and nicknames on the spot

 

[6:10PM]  **damn theres a lot i gotta get used to know huh**

 

[6:11PM]  **_yes my lady_ **

  
  


[6:11PM]  sooo if tiktaalik was able to evolve from being a fish towards being a human do you thing that if humans immerse themselves in water long enough that we’ll evolve into mermaids? 

 

[6:12PM]  _...What? _


	8. klance agrees one (1) time and scream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> welp lance is just talking to keith  
> keith feels the feels and  
> pidge is pretty much protector of the two disasters and shes amazing at it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooopppppppppppppppppp  
> im sorry
> 
> text key  
>  **pidge**  
>  _keith_  
>  lance  
> hunk  
>  ** _allura_**

[6:11PM]  sooo if tiktaalik was able to evolve from being a fish towards being a human do you thing that if humans immerse themselves in water and land long enough that we’ll evolve into mermaids? 

 

[6:12PM]  _...What? _

 

[6:12PM]  come on bud its a valid question right??

 

[6:13PM]  _ Okay fine it’s a valid question but why did you start thinking about that? _

 

[6:13PM]  it is part of my enlightened being to answer lifes greatest mysteries 

 

[6:14PM]  _ … Really?  _

 

[6:14PM]  okay fine im procrastinating on my homework and my brain decided “let us do something dumb” but now that ive thought it i cant not because honestly any opportunity to be a mermaid i WILL take! 

 

[6:15PM]  _ So really wants to be a mermaid huh? I can kinda relate, I really want to be mothman.  _

 

[6:15PM]  BROOOO OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU 

  
  


[6:20PM]  shit i may have fucked 

 

[6:21PM]  **bro what you do**

 

[6:21PM]  i kinda… said i love you? 

 

[6:22PM]  **aaaw bro whens the wedding?**

 

[6:23PM]  CMON I FEEL LIKE I MESSED UP HELP WHERES THE QUEEN 

 

[6:23PM]  **am i not good enough?**

 

[6:24PM]  my god i didnt mean it like that you are way more than enough pidge my perfect girl you are everything its just allura knows how to calm me down? i really appreciate your support! 

 

[ 6:24PM]  **hunk was right i do wanna protect you with hugs anyways you didnt mess up it just takes keiths brain a while to understand human affection he probably really appreciates it i swear go talk to him**

 

[6:25PM] sweet perfect badass pidge thank you ill talk to you later my pterodactyl sunshine friend!!! 

 

[6:25PM]  **i will never get used to that … but i like it**

  
  


[6:25PM]  sorry if i said something that made you uncomfortable if i ever do just like call me out man and i will literally remove those words from my vocabulary

 

[6:26PM]  _ Oh no it’s fine I was just .. caught a little off guard. As you know I only have one other friend so like I’m really not used to stuff like that.  _

 

[6:26PM]  bro its chill!! i am here loyal compadre to guide you into the realm of friendship! tis a long and winding journey filled with awkward texts and existential questions that make us want to explode but we shall only embark if you agree! 

 

[6:27PM]  _ How can I even say no to you asking me to be your friend in that way?  _

 

[6:27PM]  hehe thats my trap im irresistible 

 

[6:28PM]  _ If I was with you I’d be rolling my eyes at you.  _

  
  


[6:29PM]  **_babe you okay_ **

 

[6:29PM]  yeah! 

 

[6:30PM]  **_good!_ **

  
  


[6:30PM]  dont tell me you dont agree

 

[6:30PM]  _ Oh sure I agree. (Partially sarcastic)  _

 

[6:31PM]  aah see only partially sarcastic meaning your partially truthful 

 

[6:32PM]  _ Anyways I forgot, love you too. _

 

[6:32PM]  agajsbeislalmsvdjalanavakao BRO

 

[6:33PM]  _ What?  _

 

[6:34PM]  OH MY GOD DONT EVEN TRY AND ACT INNOCENT WHAT ARE YOU TRYNA DO TO MY HEART!! 

 

[6:35PM]  _ You said it to me, aren’t you supposed to reciprocate?  _

 

[6:35PM]  YEAH BUT I DIDNT EXPECT YOU TO MY GOD 

 

[6:36PM]  _ I didn’t know it would be this easy to fluster you, I finally found you weakness.  _

 

[6:36PM]  NOOOOO YOU CANT FIND MY WEAKNESS 

 

[6:37PM]  _ Too late. You are now susceptible to torture.  _

 

[6:37PM]  HEY I KNOW YOUR WEAKNESS TOO ALL I GOTTA DO IS SAY THAT I DRANK UNFERMENTED MILK 

 

[6:38PM]  _ BECAUSE  _ WHY _ WOULD ANY PERSON DO THAT JESUS HOW DID I ACCEPT FRIENDSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO WILLINGLY DRANK UNFERMENTED MILK _

 

[6:39PM]  ITS TOO LATE YOU ALREADY SAID YES 

 

[6:40PM]  _ TECHNICALLY I SAID “HOW COULD I SAY NO” THAT MEANS I HAVE A SMALL WINDOW WHERE I COULD SAY “OH LIKE THIS” DONT MAKE ME JUMP OUT THAT WINDOW DONT DO IT TO ME  _

 

[6:40PM]  NOO NO LOOP HOLES ALLOWED IN FRIENDSHIP I HAVE YOU ROPED IN NO BACKING OUT 

 

[6:41PM]  _ OKAY FINE BUT PACT TO ONLY USE TORTURE WHEN NECESSARY  _

 

[6:42PM]  AGREED 

 

[6:42PM]  _ OKAY NOW CAN WE STOP YELLING  _

 

[6:43PM]  I GUESS 

 

[6:43PM]  _ Okay good.  _

 

[6:44PM]  well anyways we cant just casually bring up that you are into mothman without elaborating 

 

[6:45PM]  _ My god why did I even say that.  _

 

[6:45PM]  because its AWESOME ??? dude mothman is such a legend and nessy a God™

 

[6:46PM]  _ Okay I can agree with that, which I think brings us to the 1st thing we’ve agreed upon. _

 

[6:46PM]  see! you just gotta believe itll happen some day! 

 

[6:47PM]  ah shit imma have to talk to you later bro my sister just came with her spawns so im on children duty for the night

 

[6:48PM]  _ Alright please don’t kill the kids.  _

 

[6:48PM]  ill try my best :) 

  
  


[6:50PM]  _ You know something. _

 

[6:50PM]  **well yes i do know something or else i dont think i wouldve made it this far in life**

 

[6:51PM]  _ You know what I mean!  _

 

[6:52PM]  **actually i dont you gotta elaborate buddy**

 

[6:52PM]  _ Right sorry I’m stressed. What did you mean when you were talking at my house while playing Mario Kart? _

 

[6:53PM]  **well i said that i would kick you ass and i did**

 

[6:53PM]  **or do you mean about loooooovvvvveeeee**

 

[6:54PM]  _ … Uhmmm uh _

 

[6:54PM]  **aaaaaaw whos my little son gay for???**

 

[6:55PM]  _ Well that’s the problem, I don’t know it’s a guy!! Let alone if they are gay! Or bi or pan whatever.  _

 

[6:56PM]  **what but you.. like the person you are texting! welp i think its probably a good idea to ask if thems a guy you know what im saying**

 

[6:57PM]  _ I mean well yeah okay your right but I mean I don’t totally know them. Shit I barely know anything about them but damn it they like mothman and loch ness and uh yeeah.  _

 

[6:58PM]  **theres more what the heck you not telling me kogane**

 

[6:58PM]  _ Nothing.. _

 

[6:59PM]  **kogane dont even try it**

 

[7:00PM]  _ Fine whatever, they uh said . “I love you” ?  _

 

[7:01PM]  **youre such a cute gay boy honestly i totally knew you would fucking have a crush on the first human being who said they also would fuck mothman**

 

[7:01PM]  **thats why i never did that**

 

[7:02PM]  _ Ew oh my god you’re like my fucking sister.  _

 

[7:02PM]  **mothman is less gross than me?? just kidding i agree back off  keith and well you should probably stop talking to me and figure out their gender then i dont know maybe propose**

 

[7:03PM]  _ -_- I can’t talk to them now they left to babysit their sister’s kids, if not I’d still be talking to them.  _

 

[7:04PM]  **are you abandoning me keith!!**

 

[7:04PM]  _ No, who could abandon a gremlin like you? _

 

[7:05PM]  **dont sass me you have a crush which means i have ultimate make fun of you rights**

 

[7:05PM]  **just kidding (sorta) anyways you probably wanna learn a little more about them im assuming before you set your little fragile heart on them so just ya know ask um their favorite color if they like dicks**

 

[7:06PM]  _ My god I am not going to ask them “Do you like dicks?” And anyway their favorite color is blue.  _

 

[7:06PM]  **wowkeithy just marry them already damn**

 

[7:07PM]  _ Urgh you’re no help!  _

 

[7:08PM]  _ Anyway thanks Pidge I’m gonna go watch the 3rd season of bnha.  _

 

[7:08PM]  **WITHOUT ME**

 

[7:09PM]  _ No god I know better than to upset you, Guardian of the Underworld. Come over. _

 

[7:09PM]  **you come over im dead but thanks for the nickname its fitting with the whole me being dead thing**

 

[7:10PM]  _ Knew you’d like it but fine I’m coming.  _

 

[7:11PM]  **ill get the gummy stash**

 

[7:11PM]  _ Sour worms, bears regular?  _

 

[7:12PM]  **always what am i an animal?**

 

[7:12PM]  _ Just checking I would cry if it was wrong and crying is stupid.  _

 

[7:13PM]  **yes anything to prevent my precious son from crying**

 

[7:13PM]  _ I’m older than you.  _

 

[7:14PM]  **yet your my son because your stupid and a hella disaster gay**

 

[7:15PM]  _ Eh yeah you’re right.  _

 

[7:16PM]  **i know keith now hurry yo ass up i already have it set up and if you dont come im starting with out you**

 

[7:16PM]  _ Dont.You.Dare.  _

 

[7:17PM]  **:)**

  
  


[7:18PM]  **klance confirmed hes hella gay for you**

 

[7:19PM]  HES WHAT NOW 


	9. piercings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well lance finally gets the chance to explain himself and keith finds some new friends he has a suspicion though????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kachooow 
> 
>    
> text key  
>  _keith_  
>  **  
>  shiro  
>  **  
> _  
> **matttt  
>  **_  
> **pidge**  
>  lancey

[6:12AM]  _ Hey Shiro?  _

 

[6:13AM]  **Shiro is not home right now try again at 2 pm when he is awake**

 

[6:13AM]  _ Come on I have a question. Brother I request guidance.  _

 

[6:17AM]  _ Fine I’ll just ask your other disaster brother.  _

 

[6:18AM]  _**Wait what.** _

  
  


[6:19AM]  _ Hey Matt?  _

 

[6:20AM]  **_keithel!! what a nice surprise you almost never initiate conversation!!_ **

 

[6:20AM]  _ Right sorry about that.  _

 

[6:21AM] **_its fine little nugget! i know talking is weird as long as you dont ignore me im good! whatcha need wonder boy!_**

 

[6:22AM]  _ Okay first, when are you gonna stop calling me wonder boy or little nugget or all those names? Also I have a question.  _

 

[6:23AM]  **_You Will Never Not Be Wonder Boy whats your question jelly bean?_ **

 

[6:24AM]  _ Fine. Well this might sound kind of weird but, when did you know you liked your boyfriend (sorry I forget his name)?  _

 

[6:25AM]  **_welp pretty much when i saw him i was like “Daaaaayuuuummmmm” and then we started actually talking and i was like “Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit” because why are you allowed to be so hot and nice at the same time also his name is ryan!!!!!_ **

 

[6:26AM] ... _ Can I be honest and say that was not very helpful.  _

 

[6:26AM]  **_yeah i mean these things are hard to explain ya know every time he smiles its like my heart is exploding but like in a good way and my stomach is warm and mushy but when we werent dating and we were just friends my chest would tighten because it was always great being around him but i just knew he wasnt mine and it sucked_ **

 

[6:27AM]  _ Really? Do you think looks matter a lot?  _

 

[6:28AM]  **_i mean being real it would be a human ideal to not care what people look like but its hard to see someone attractive and not want to get to know them that being said though if ryan ended up being a dick i would have walked away immediately_ **

 

[6:29AM]  **_i dont deserve me a man who treats me wrong no matter how hot his ass no one does NO ONE_ **

 

[6:30AM]  _ Hmmm thanks sorry if this was weird.  _

 

[6:31AM]  **_no problem my perfect boy! but can i ask yoooou a question???_ **

 

[6:31AM]  _ Um sure?  _

 

[6:32AM]  **_ were you asking because you like someone~~ _ ** **_(¬‿¬)_ ** **_~~_ **

 

[6:32AM]  _ What! No it’s just.. I don’t know alright! I barely even know the person besides their favorite color and other useless facts!  I mean how do people even figure these things out like, “Hey I like that person.” ??? What! How! Ugh it just doesn’t make any sense okay! _

 

[6:33AM]  **_aaw its okay keefy boy! everyone develops feelings differently its a total mystery and its stupid and annoying but its fucking awesome too! if you dont know then dont rush and dont worry youll figure it out and thats better than doing things without thinking thats when people get hurt just make sure you tell me who your boi is when you figure it all out <3 _ **

 

[6:34AM]  _ Ugh I already hate this -_-. Thanks Matt.  _

 

[6:34AM]  **_i gotchu babe!_ **

  
  


[6:35AM]  _ Matt Holt is way more helpful than you.  _

 

[6:35AM]  **Keith it is not 2pm let me sleep unless it actually is serious but im assuming its not since you are literally in the room next to mine and yet you are texting me**

 

[6:36AM]  _ I didn’t want to get up but I guess it’s not serious I just might be fucked.  _

 

[6:37AM]  **Sounds like you on a daily**

 

[6:37PM]  _ Low blow man.  _

 

[6:38AM]  _ Anyways go back to sleep I’m going to get ready for school.  _

 

[6:38AM]  **Already? Is my lil bro finally becoming a responisble student?**

 

[6:39AM]  _ You say that like I get bad grades.  _

 

[6:40AM]  **I am talking about how you are late everyday and punched someone last week**

 

[6:40AM]  _ He tried to block Pidge from the girl’s restroom!  _

 

[6:41AM]  **okay yeah thats fair i wouldve punched him too go to class kogane**

 

[6:42AM]  _ Eh we’ll see.  _

 

[6:43AM]  **(；一_一)**

  
  


Yep Keith was feeling very fucked as he walked through his school. He did not want to be there when he had things to think about. This was just going to be an Ignore Everyone day, this whole figuring out emotions thing was going to be hard enough without having to deal with _*shudders*_ _people. Gross._

 

Keith definitely didn’t want someone–

 

“Hey, Keith!” 

 

“Are you fucking me?” Keith said to himself although not as quietly as he had thought. 

 

“No but I could if you want.” Lance replied, just as snide and annoying as usual. 

 

“Uh I mean uh… nice or cool jacket, K-Keith.” _That wasn’t usual._ Keith thought. Lance was stuttering and looked flustered, his face was red and he kept looking everywhere but at Keith. Lance usually liked to stare down Keith. And wait, _did Lance compliment me?!_ _This has got to be some sort of joke._

 

“Stop pretending to be nice, it’s creepy.” Keith responded. He started walking faster so as to get rid of the nuisance but it seemed to follow.

 

“Oh, sorry.” Lance said, actually sounding apologetic.  _ Still creepy.  _ “Um can we talk?” Lance asked while tugging on his ears.  _ He wears earrings? Weird.  _ Keith thought focusing on the action as Lance pulled and twisted the small silver stars. 

 

“Why? What do we have to talk about?” Keith asked. He knew he sounded rude but Lance had always been rude to him. 

 

“I just have some things I want to tell you. If you don’t want to listen that’s okay, I know I’ve kind of been a dick and I’m really sorry about that.” Lance admitted, tugging a little harder on his ear. 

 

Keith was still staring at this, almost drawn to the action, and moved without thinking. 

“Stop, you’ll hurt yourself.” Keith said as he grabbed Lance’s hand and moved it away from his ear. 

 

Lance’s face turned a deeper shade of red. Keith hadn’t even thought that was possible. 

 

“R-right, sorry.” Lance replied. 

 

Keith sighed. “Alright McClain, where are we going.” 

 

“I know a perfect spot!” Lance said, perking up. If Keith hadn’t known any better, he might have said that Lance was cute. The blushing was an unfair advantage, but it was like what Matt said, attractive only means anything if you are nice. Lance wasn’t nice, so far at least.

 

Lance led Keith down some stairs and across the school towards the theater. 

Allura and Hunk had met up with Pidge who saw them walking together. 

  
  


[12:15PM]  **get that dick**

 

[12:15PM]  im trying ;) jk im just tryna tell him that im not annoying and actually nice im prettt sure?? 

 

[12:16PM]  **yep i believe in you mcclain and after that get that dick**

 

[12:16PM]  hell yeah 

  
  


[12:16PM]  **get that dick**

 

[12:17PM]  _ Ew please never say that again.  _

  
  


Lance and Keith ended up in a small changing room backstage of the theater that was totally vacant due to it still being regular school hours. 

 

“Sooooo, I guess this is kinda weird but I wanted to explain some things.” Lance started sitting on the floor. 

 

Keith sat next to Lance with a little space between them. He drew his knees up and crossed his arms over to put his head in. 

 

“Alright. Explain.” Keith said. 

 

“I just wanted to apologize I guess. I was a jerk to you the moment I even said anything and that was dumb, I am really sorry.” Lance glanced towards Keith to see any reaction. His face was fairly blank but his eyes had widened a bit.  _ So he’s listening.  _ Lance thought. Might as well continue. 

 

“I actually do like your hair.” 

 

“You what?” Keith said, he was absolutely not expecting that. 

 

“I saw you and you looked so cool and I freaked out and, well this all sounds really lame but yeah I wanted to tell you that your hair was cool but I kinda of accidentally yelled in a really sarcastic tone, well you know, but it wasn’t, I didn’t mean to say it like that, what I meant was–” 

 

“Hey alright calm down, take a breath for a second,” Keith said as he placed a hand on Lance’s shoulder. This was pretty damn insane. Never had Keith seen Lance so, unsure, flustered. He was always so annoyingly confident, all over the top and dramatic and loud and well all so Lance. That’s how he was. Keith’s whole entire definition of Lance was being shattered and for some strange reason, Keith believed him. “You like my hair?” That was all Keith thought to say, for some reason it seemed really,  _ really,  _ important. 

 

“I  _ love  _ your hair!” Lance said, extremely excited. “It’s all fluffy and dark and it looks so soft and it really suits you. Also your jacket is awesome! And your piercings are really cool! I want ones all over my ear, too!” Lance exclaimed. 

 

“Is this for real?” Keith asked, more to the universe than Lance. 

 

“Yep! I am just really stupid and I got really nervous when I saw you and I felt like it would be easier for me to just be annoying, well easy for you not me, I wanted to actually talk to you but you hated me, and it sucked, but my friends said “You have to talk to him!” so I did and, well I hope you forgive me, I know I was a jerk and you probably just want to punch me but it would be awesome if you didn’t and it would be even better if we could be friends and–” 

 

“Lance, you are doing it again.” Keith said, trying to steady this, apparently correct version of Lance. 

 

“Right, sorry.” Lance said and took some calming breaths before turning to face Keith again with a way too cute smile. 

 

“Why did I make you nervous, it’s not like I’m much of anything?” Keith asked. Thinking back to his old schools, most people just ignored him, he didn’t stand out as someone cool and he even scared people. It’s not his fault his face looks like this. 

 

“Are you kidding! Look at you! You are so cool with your dark hair and pretty eyes, you just seemed like such a chill person to hang out with and man!” 

 

“Okay you have got to stop complimenting me or I will combust.” Keith said hiding his face in his arms.

 

“Well um, can… we be friends.” Lance asked, looking shy and unsure again.  _ Damn it that face is so unfair. _

 

“Yes, Lance, I suppose we can be friends, but I swear to the fucking Buddha of this was all a joke I  _ will  _ murder you.” Keith said, out of caution, but he really didn’t think that was even possibly true.  _ Stupid McClain, how can you even be this sincere.  _

 

“Yes! I give you permission to murder me!” Lance said. “Alright, let’s go then!” He jumped up and started out of the small room. 

 

“Wait what, go where?” Keith asked, getting to his feet. 

 

“Hell. Just kidding you gotta meet my friends! We all know Pidge, I know you are friends with her. I guess she knew my one friend Hunk so he introduced us.” Lance said. 

 

“I wouldn’t mind going to Hell though, might as well get to know the place I’ll be sentenced to for an eternity.” Keith replied. 

 

“DUUDE!! SAME! I am almost 99% certain I am going to Hell but whatever, those hoes will be bowing down to me when I arrive.” Lance said while dramatically brushing the hair he doesn’t have back. 

 

To that Keith laughed, he had his mouth covered with his hand but it barely contained his smile and loud, deep chuckles. Lance stopped to look, blush deepening, and a wide smile formed on his own face. If he was proud of doing something in his life it was making Keith Kogane laugh. 

 

Quickly before Lance could burst into flames, he turned back around and continued walking out of the theater with Keith right beside him. They approached Pidge, Hunk, and Allura who were sitting at a table together. 

 

“Pidge looks like she’s having fun, I’m glad.” said Keith. 

 

“Aaw you sound like a proud mom.” Lance replied. Keith looked so fond, it was adorable but a little sad, did she usually not? 

 

“We have always protected each other from, well piece of shit humans, it’s cool that not all humans are pieces of shit.” Keith said, small smile making its way onto his face. 

 

Lance smiled back, “Nah, Allura and Hunk are pretty much saints, they’ve gone through their own shit but still help protect you. Honestly you are in for ultimate emotional, physical, and mental, protection.” 

 

“Good. I probably need it.” Keith said as they reached the table. 

 

“Hi guys! I brought a new cryptid.” Lance said. 

 

“Hey Keith, did the dingle let you know he’s not actually a dingle?” Hunk asked. 

 

“Yeah, it was fairly convincing.” Keith said. 

 

“Sit down, we gotta induct you into the club of really awesome losers.” Allura said. 

 

“Hey we are not losers!” Lance protested as he slid in next to Hunk. 

 

“Yes we are but it’s only lame if we fight it. Wear your loser badge with pride Lance!” Hunk said. 

 

“Fine.” Lance stood back up and faced the other tables around, “I AM A LOSER AND I AM PROUD!” He screamed then sat back down as if nothing happened. The rest of the lunchroom gave annoyed glares to which Allura death stared, scaring everyone from making any comments.

 

“Oh my god why would you do that?” Pidge asked, humored though slightly horrified. 

 

“I don’t half-ass nothing. It’s a blessing and a curse.” Lance replied. 

 

“Please tell me we don’t have to do that to be inducted.” Keith said shrinking down a little. 

 

“Don’t worry, Lance is just extra. The only thing you need to do is promise to protect the rest of us with your life because we will do that same, and come to our Friday movie nights where we watch Star Wars and Mulan.” Allura said. “If you follow these conditions, you will be invited into the loser group of hella gay awesomeness.” 

 

“I think I can live with that seeing as I am hella gay and want to launch myself into space. And Mulan is just a queen.” Keith said, surprisingly not afraid. Lance noticed Pidge reciprocating the look he gave her earlier.  _ They are so great.  _ He thought, he was now devoting his life to conserving their preciousness. 

 

“Yeah, we are in, if you want us.” Pidge said.

 

“Of course we do precious gem of majesty!” Lance said, slamming his fist on the table for emphasis. 

 

The bell rang and the group said their goodbyes.  _ How in the fuck did this even happen.  _ Keith thought. He had just became friends with Lance McClain of all people, and it didn’t even seem weird.  _ What the hell. _ Well either way he had a theory, Lance McClain seemed really familiar. He pulled out his phone. 

  
  


[12:44PM]  _ Are you Lan _

 

[message deleted] 

 

[12:44PM]  _ Do you have piercings?  _


	10. klance endgame is really soft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so keith has a crisis lance is exploding with nervousness but for soke damn reason it all totally works out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want a big bowl of cHiLi ChEeSe FrIeS
> 
> text key  
>  _skeet_  
>  latch  
>  **cheerio**  
>  **smidgen**

[12:44PM]  _ Do you have piercings? _

  
  


_ Fuck this was stupid _ . Keith thought. How could it even be feasible that this random ass person just happens to be Lance fucking McClain. 

  
  


[12:50PM]  yep! just one on each ear i want more but i hate asking my parents for things like that asking them for my first makeup palette  was Rough™ i love my parents but like i could do without the whole “are you *whispers* trans?”

 

[12:51PM]  yep and i just realized i havent told you yet but yeah sorry to burst your bubble.but im … a guy! 

 

[12:51PM]  _ Ah yeah, makes sense. I don’t understand the difficulty to just let guys, well not just guys everyone, wear makeup, or whatever they want? I mean what a concept. I am a guy too by the way so yeah, hi. I’ve kind of been meaning to ask you that.  _

 

[12:52PM]  yikes bout to get caught dont want my phone taken AGAIN but totally agree with you man like damn humans can be whatever they want?? how strange talk to you later bro! 

 

[12:52PM]  _ Yeah don’t get caught. Bye.  _

  
  


_ Fuck. That wasn’t enough time.  _ Keith slumped a little in his seat with disappointment from the lack of conversation. Perhaps it wasn’t a good idea to have texted him,  _ Him,  _ during class but either way Keith was determined to find out who this person was and ignore the fact that he was doing it in the most unnecessarily complicated way. 

 

_ Should I just ask him his name.  _ Yes (any sane person).  _ No that sounds scary. _

 

Keith was already not feeling like being present in class anyways so he pulled his phone back out. This teacher didn’t care whether the kids were texting or even paying attention. 

  
  


[12:56PM]  _ Help. Crisis.  _

 

[12:56PM]  _**Aren’t you in school?** _

 

[12:57PM]  _ What don’t you get about crisis, school can wait there is a Crisis. _

 

[12:58PM]  **So dramatic what is it spazz brain**

 

[12:58PM]  _ Crisis, boy really nice but don’t know his name.  _

 

[12:59PM]  **Oh my god he's thrown you off so much that you can’t even form a proper sentence this must be serious**

 

[1:01PM]  _ Yes that is why I need HELP.  _

 

[1:01PM]  **Well I mean it is pretty easy you know ask him his name, compliment his eyes, use protection, boom done**

 

[1:02PM] -_-  _ Okay I know I’ve never dated before but it is Not that easy. How do you even have a husband? Right because you just had to be soooo perfect.  _

 

[1:02PM]  **Honestly I don't know how I got a husband and I am for sure not perfect anyways no it’s not that easy but those first two things are a good start**

 

[1:03PM]  _ What if I only think I know what their eyes look like?  _

 

[1:03PM]  _ Wait scratch that never mind. You know it’s even more frustrating when you don’t know you are perfect because bro you are accept it.  _

 

[1:04PM]  **Woah woah wait back up! You think you know what his eyes look like?! What does that even mean?**

 

[1:04PM]  _ Nothing. It means nothing because I didn’t say anything.  _

 

[1:05PM]  **Oh my god is this even a real person?!**

 

[1:05PM]  _ Yes it is!  _

 

[1:06PM]  **Okay then you gotta explain**

 

[1:07PM]  _ Ugh fine. Somebody texted me from school but I don’t know who it is, all I know is that it is a boy. I think I know who the real life person is but I can’t tell.  _

 

[1:08PM]  **How did you end in the plot of Love Simon**

 

[1:08PM]  _ … Oh my god.  _

 

[1:09PM]  **You’re so precious lil bro**

 

[1:10PM]  _ Nooooooo. This is not the same.  _

 

[1:10PM]  **Except it is but good news! That means it’ll totally work out because our boy Simon showed you the way! Except maybe the book version because Martin’s stunt got exponentially worse in the movie like dick how do you drag blue into this he did nothing to you!!?? Or even better Martin doesn’t fucking exist this time and you are all happy and cute**

 

[1:11PM]  _ You’ve literally said almost nothing useful but I still feel better about life I fucking hate you you perfect little shit.  _

 

[1:12PM] **I love you too go back to class**

 

[1:13PM]  _ Yeah whatever I love you.  _

  
  


Keith decided he might as well take some notes on existentialism even though he already understood the concepts. He was the only one to have gotten a perfect score on their most recent quiz while most others were saying dumb things that had nothing to do with existentialism.

 

Yeah notes were useless, Keith decided two seconds later and started drawing little cartoon animals in his notebook. He did this in most classes. He never takes any notes and then gets perfect scores on the tests just to piss off the teachers. 

 

For some dumb reason, it is perfectly okay to text the whole class but drawing on your notebook? Sinful. It is just a matter of time before Keith gets call–

 

“Keith, since it seems you already understand everything about existentialism, could you explain the concept of alienation and isolation.” 

 

Without having looked up from his excellent start at a hippo drawing, Keith answered, “It is the concept that there is no human nature, nothing that connects humans to nature, God, or even each other. We are all individuals and what we do doesn’t change anything from someone else’s life because either way we are all still hurtling toward death. This is the reason existentialists don’t believe in labels, forcing a term to connect a group of people is meaningless because we will all still experience the philosophy in different ways, no experience is the same, thus we are isolated.” Keith said to the annoyance of the teacher. She just uttered a forced, “Right” and moved on with the lesson. 

 

Class went on and Keith finished his hippo, which he was very proud of. The bell rang and there was only one more period to endure, then finally some real investigation can happen before an operation is decided and maybe a task force is assembled…  _ I hate myself.  _ Keith thought because in no way was he joking about any of this.  _ I need help.  _

 

His next class moved ever so slowly because why should economics be quick and easy? No, instead it makes you not want to live passed senior year. He got through it though, the teacher ended up getting distracted and talked about someone that made her mad by not following the law and she wishes she could sue him and some other boring shit.  _ Thank fuck it’s Friday. Wait!  _

  
  


[2:30PM]  **hey loser we gotta go to hunk’s house because we have friends now he told me they will meet us in the front of the school so we can walk there**

 

[2:31PM]  _ Right, I’m coming.  _

  
  


Keith started walking to the front gates and saw Pidge already standing with Hunk and Allura. 

 

“Hey Keith, how was your day?” Allura asked.

 

“Uh it was.. alright. I wasn’t really paying attention all day.” Keith replied.  _ Jeez conversation is so weird.  _

 

“Are your grades okay?” She asked, with concern on her face. 

 

“Um yeah they are. My teachers get mad because I don’t take notes or anything but I always do good on all the tests.” Keith said. 

 

“Oh well that’s good then!” Allura said. 

 

“You are such a mom, Allura.” Hunk said, with a fond smile. 

 

“Coming from you! Mister 'did you eat enough food today?!’” Allura shot back. Pidge was watching in amusement.

 

“This friend group has two moms, that’s honestly the best thing I’ve ever heard.” Pidge said. 

 

“Hey where’s La–” Keith started. 

 

“Yo! Bros I am here!” Lance said as he sprinted up. Everyone looked on in confusion as he arrived and gripped his knees to catch his breath. 

 

“Um you good?” Hunk asked. 

 

“Yeah. Good. Just running.” Lance responded still fairly out of breath. 

 

“Yeeah… why?” Allura asked. 

 

“Well, Lotor was being a dick because my makeup is better than his whole life so I punched him but had to blast before he could do anything.” Lance said looking extremely proud. 

 

“That’s … really bad ass.” Keith said, his eyes had gone slightly wider due to the sheer awesomeness. 

 

Lance blushed slightly at the complement and smiled brightly. “Thank you, means a lot coming from the new resident criminal of the group!” 

 

“What! I’m not a criminal!” Keith exclaimed. 

 

“Mhmmmmm then why do you have a knife on your bag all the time?!” Lance asked. 

 

“Just… in case?” Keith responded, but sounded more like he was asking. 

 

“Riight, just kidding fluff ball you’re not a criminal, I feel like you are chaotic good. Really wants to help people that actually deserve it but might cut a bitch to do it.” Lance said. 

 

“That, is probably true yeah.” Keith said. Thinking about it that had sounded pretty accurate, if anyone ever hurt Pidge he wouldn’t mind causing suffering to the dick who supplied it. 

 

“Well let’s go, I don’t know about you guys but I really don’t like standing in front of a government building for this damn long.” Allura said as she started walking away without waiting for anyone. 

 

They started their walk to Hunk’s house, which was just a few minutes away. 

 

“Children guess which gay got a phone number?” Allura asked. 

 

“Yoo!! You got that one girls number?” Lance asked. 

 

“Who?!” Hunk asked. 

 

Allura triumphantly smirked, “You know Kyndra?” 

 

“THAT REALLY PRETTY GIRL, YOU GOT HER NUMBER?? QUEEN TEACH ME!” Hunk shouted in reply. 

 

“Damn.” Pidge said, “She’s hot.” 

 

“Right!” Allura exclaimed. 

 

Keith was just listening, not really thinking he could contribute much to the conversation. He didn’t even know who Kyndra was. He thought his new friends were cool but he wasn’t exactly sure how much he actually had in common with them. 

 

Keith thought to his anonymous text person. He didn’t really have much in common with him, besides cryptids maybe, and now atla.  _ Wait, god I am dumb. _ Keith realized a simple solution to finding out if Lance is said person. 

 

“Do you guys like Mothman?” Keith asked, suddenly realizing he completely disrupted the conversation. 

 

“Hell yeah!” Lance said, not seeming to mind the change of pace. “Mothman is a beacon of light! A star among the sky! The ultraterrestrial!” 

 

“Oh jeez now you’ve got him making his ode to Mothman.” Hunk said. 

 

While Lance was about to continue honoring Mothman, a thought popped into his head.  _ Keith just mentioned Mothman, something we were not even close to talking about. Does he… think the person texting him is me? Well it is but, how did he find out? Wait a minute! He asked me if I had piercings!!! Holy shit this boy knows too much! He must be taken out! Well no that’s extreme but damn it Kogane!  _ Lance continued this train of thought to the concern of everyone. Surprisingly, Keith reached out to bring him back. 

 

Keith grabbed his shoulder and shook a bit. “Lance, are you okay?” He asked. 

 

“What, me? Yeah I am good no problems!” Lance said really fast and awkwardly. His face had gotten red, he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do so he just blurted something out to change the topic. 

 

“Hunk when are you gonna ask out Shay?!”  _ Shit why did I say that.  _

 

Hunk got equally as red as Lance now. Lance attempted to telepathically apologize for saying that, why was he such a dingle when he was nervous! 

 

“Oh uh, I-I don’t know?” Hunk said. Lance knew he had to make amends for this and just decided he would blurt something else out. 

 

“Keith you don’t like coconut right!?!”  _ Wait no!!! Danger!!! _

 

Keith’s eyes went wide because there was only few explanations as to how he could have possible knew that information. Really only one but,  _ Fuck it.  _

 

Keith pulled out his phone knowing full well everyone was staring at him. He opened his messages. 

  
  


[2:46PM]  _ Lance?  _

  
  


Keith at this point didn’t dare look up. No matter the fairly clear and convincing evidence, he couldn’t deal with the fact that there was probably a .0000001% chance that he could be wrong. Suddenly though from Lance’s back pocket you could hear 'Let’s get down to business!’, the start of “I’ll Make a Man Out of You” from  _ Mulan.  _ Lance’s text tone. 

 

Lance pulled out his phone though he didn’t even have to look at it to know what was going on. Regardless he decided to reply, talking out loud was too embarrassing, especially because Allura was totally on board and was smiling widely and even worse so was Pidge. 

  
  


[2:46PM]  hey mullet 

  
  


“Holy shit”, was all Keith was capable of saying before he started walking forward towards Lance. The situation was already embarrassing and he felt strangely invincible. Lance had no time to think of a coherent response before he felt arms wrapped around his neck. 

 

“Why do you like coconut, it’s so gross?” Keith asked, still hugging Lance tightly. 

 

“Coming from the guy who just recently saw  _ Avatar. _ ” Lance responded. His heart was exploding and his soul was leaving his body but he couldn’t have felt happier. 

 

“Yo so are you guys gonna make out yet or can we go inside because I kinda want to watch  _ Mars Attacks! _ ” Allura said making both boys flush a dark red and back away from each other.

 

“Oh my god I didn’t even know it was possible to love someone this much, I fully understand why everyone calls you queen.” Pidge said, appreciating the full sarcasm of Allura. 

 

“I love you too, my lady!” Allura responded and started walking away again with Pidge. 

 

Hunk, who was extremely confused the whole time caught on a bit and smiled. He left them two but mostly so that the two could talk without total interference from their three friends. 

 

Lance smiled gratefully and turned back to Keith when the rest were a safe distance away. He was so incredibly close to the person he thought he would only ever admire from afar. He understood how creepy that sounded but didn’t give a shit because damn Keith Kogane just hugged him and he was high off epinephrine or dopamine or whatever the damn hell was telling him to just do something stupid. 

 

“So not gonna lie, I … like you.” Lance said. He was so nervous but this time, that didn’t stop him. 

 

Keith looked in Lance’s eyes and all he saw was truth. Of all the people he has encountered, he never thought that he could end up finding someone he absolutely did not want to be around then all of a sudden only want to be around. He smiled so wide, his face burned from the heat of embarrassment and nervousness. He, for some reason couldn’t understand how someone as beautiful as Lance could like Keith, but for the first time he decided he was going to be selfish and take him. 

 

“I like you too.” Keith said, Lance’s eyes softened so much making Keith’s stomach twist in the best way. 

 

Keith absolutely did not know what he was doing but didn’t really care as he reached his hand behind Lance’s neck and pulled him down for a kiss. Lance stepped forward and grabbed Keith around the waist. 

 

Keith had never felt so warm. The kiss was gentle and slow, lips barely parting. Keith pulled back but stayed so close to Lance. 

 

Lance gave Keith a quick kiss on the forehead before speaking again. 

 

“Come on, we should go inside.” He grabbed Keith’s hand and led him forward into Hunk’s house. 

 

They found the other three in the living room already watching the movie. 

 

“We started without you losers.” Pidge said as she looked at the connected hands, “ But I don’t think you two really care.” She said. She didn’t want to be too embarrassing, but at the same time she did so she pulled out her phone to type out a message. 

  
  


[3:15PM]  **youre welcome todoroki**

 

[3:16PM]  _ Fuck off Iida. _

 

[3:16PM]  _ Thanks you fucking turtle. _

  
  


“Please for the love of fuck do not have sex while we are here.” Allura said. “If I am co mom then I gotta set some ground rules.” 

 

“Jesus Christ Allura!! We would never!” Lance exclaimed. Keith had absolutely no suitable response for that and just covered his face with his free hand. 

 

“Sit down and stop just standing in the doorway like weirdos. Oh and take your shoes off or my mothers while kill you.” Hunk said. Lance did exactly that and grabbed the bowl of popcorn sitting down on the floor. He motioned for Keith to follow. 

 

Keith sat down and thought about his world. He had two brothers, a childhood friend that came along with another goofy brother, two new mom friends, and a boyfriend.  _ How the fuck did this even happen. Actually never mind I don’t want to know.  _ It didn’t matter how it happened, just that it was happening. Keith was happy. 

 

Lance had fucked up so monumentally that he could not have predicted this outcome. To think that he actually had to be thankful for that test in physics first period.  _ Ew never mind I don’t want to thank physics (especially first goddamn period!) for anything.  _ Either way Keith was with him now. Lance was happy. 


	11. adjustments are donezo (ill delete this extra useless chap in a bit)

aight hey yeah so theres basically no difference cept that adams in very lowkey in here and is acknowledged as shiros husband and matt has a boyfriend that i made up and just realized has the same name as kinkade so that cool anyways this is just a shout out or whatever hope yall are having a good day im really hungry and am gonna go eat a fucking pizza bye


End file.
